Some things you just know…
Like how Wal-Mart will always be packed on a Friday night, a girl in yoga pants will consistently turn heads at the gym (no matter what her face looks like), you will most assuredly remember your reusable bags…once you’re in the checkout line, and as much as people try to say otherwise, raunchy advertising just works…
Sad, but true!
Unfortunately, other things in life take experience to understand…
Like how Elvira isn’t immortal…
Tow trucks manufactured before 1980 should be driven off a clif…
Hydraulic lift failures on said tow trucks result in a lot of cursing…
Sporty hybrids have a tendency to help you forget car woes and tow truck vendettas…
Actually, they kinda make you feel like a race car driver!
Just make sure you check under the seats before cruising down the highway…
Because rental car companies obviously don’t inspect their vehicles before giving them to someone!
The best “collections” are the ones you can eat…
And they will make ANYTHING into a mustard flavor…
The producers of Hoarders should start filming at
my house Kroger…
These chips need salsa…
These chips taste like Doritos…
And all three of these chips combined…
Make you wanna smack yo mama!
No fretting about Elvira…she’s checked into a prestigious rehabilitation center (aka Carmax Service Station) and I got word from her caregivers today that she should be as good as new on Monday!
Now in the meantime, who wants to come help me eat all these chips? We can dip them in mustard while we take whiskey shots! 😉
What is something you’ve realized lately?
Do you have any “food collections”?
Mustard of course isn’t my only one, but you guys have already witnessed my massive
nut butter accumulation
Actually…it’s gotten even BIGGER since then! Lol
I feel like the manager at your kroger is so much nicer than mine. Your kroger always has amazing specials!
Haha! Well, we have two of them…one near my house and one near the hospital where I work, so I usually pop into each one once a week to scope out the deals…yeah, even if I don’t really need anything! Yep, I have problems! Lol
I realized that apparently I should rent more cars! Seriously, that’s an awesome find. Cocktails to celebrate!
I can’t believe you found that alcohol under the seat! When I saw your picture on instagram I couldn’t stop laughing…
I’m so jealous of the amazing deals you always find on groceries! The stores around me never, ever have sales like that. I don’t blame you for hoarding! And when I stumbled across the PopChips Tortilla Chips at Ralph’s the other day I literally squealed with excitement- I have a bag in my pantry that is waiting to be opened!
Omg, I think I literally skipped to the shelf once I spotted them! I didn’t even know they HAD tortilla chips until I spotted them on Janetha’s IG feed…and THEN I found them on sale? It was like winning the lottery! Lol And they are SOOOOOO good…open those things woman!
After I got over the initial shock and then checked the trunk for a dead hooker, I couldn’t help but giggle over the bottle of liquor either! 😉
Sorry about your car – but at least she’ll be back to you on Monday. And hey, you can’t go wrong with a free bottle of Jack Daniels hahaha. 😉
Your mustard collection is hilarious. 😀 I collect nut/seed butters, chocolate, and flours/grains! Oh, and I collect magazines. I went through a phase where I bought like 4-5 per month. And then I realized I seriously needed to cut back because that was adding up to $300/year! That’s like a month’s worth of groceries! 😛
And let me guess…food/fitness magazines? Yep! They get me every time! It’s like my old addiction to cookbooks…and I never even used them! Just looked at the pictures! lol
What is it with us bloggers and flour collections? Pre-blogworld, I used to have ONE flour in my house…all purpose white (yeah, remember I said PRE-blogworld)…NOW I have like 7-8 different kinds and I mostly only use one or two! I finished off the last of my spelt flour today and couldn’t help but pat myself on the back…since I’ve had it for like a YEAR!
haha. I love your car’s name!
Thanks doll…I knew from the beginning she had some sex appeal so I had to pick a good one! 😉
I’ll come over and help you eat those chips! I’ve been looking for them -everywhere- but have yet to see them in stores. Come on, Canada! Get with the program! We’re always so behind in getting the good stuff up here 🙁 At least I’ll be down in the States next week and can do some damage at WF and TJ’s 😀
Food collections? Hmmm. I’m actually trying to cut down and use up a lot of my collections. I have a lot of nut butters, flours, dried fruit… cereal! Omigosh, ever since I found out that I can’t eat oatmeal anymore, my cereal collection has been growing at an alarming rate. But I think the worst one was my flour collection. Do I really need like 9 different types of flours? No… especially since I don’t even like 80% of them. That’s what you get when you decide to experiment with some of the stuff you see around the blog world! And I guess that’s what I’ve realized – don’t get sucked into buying crazy and expensive things that you see online; just stick to the basics.
Oh my gosh, YES! I JUST used the last of my spelt flour this morning, but I still have probably 7-8 others…and I mostly only use my whole wheat pastry flour since it’s my favorite. I totally got sucked in with the whole blogworld thing when buckwheat bakes were a big thing and I thought “I’ll just save myself some time and instead of grinding my own flour from the groats, I’ll buy this package of buckwheat flour!” WRONG!!!! Have you ever tasted buckwheat flour? It’s taste like…GRASS! Nothing like the flavor of the ground groats. It’s so “earthy” that it shines through in almost everything you use it in…even if you dump a massive amount of cinnamon in with it! Lol I actually think that was the only one I ever tossed!
I have like 5 bags of puffed Kamut (of course, I found them at an INSANELY cheap price and couldn’t say no) and a few boxes of cereal, but I finally managed to get my cereal addiction under control…after I officially banned myself from Barbara’s Shredded Spoonfuls and Quaker Oatmeal Squares…I can polish of a box of those in like TWO DAYS! haha!
I can’t wait to see what goodies you end up bringing home from your trip to the states! 😀
Thanks to some amazing companies I have probably 100+ bars. And I have about 10 OPENED jars of jam. Not to mention some unopened.
Haha! I LOVE it! I just cracked and opened my jar of FROG preserves that I’ve been hoarding for months even though I told myself I needed to finish the blueberry and orange that are already open, but it was KILLING me! I keep buying up jars and sending them to people and never having any myself! Well, NOT anymore…oh no, Heather is a happy girl now! 😉
Yeah, I’m probably around the 100 mark too…but the sad part? I paid for most of mine! LOL
Oh my gosh I LOVE When Kroger has manager specials!!!! haha those are amazing!!
Is it bad that I go to Kroger even when I know I don’t really need anything…just to scope out the manager special deals? Kinda makes me feel like a sniper! 😉 Lol
My granola collection is BAD (don’t be jealous- KIND sent me like a lifetime supply!). I had to put it in a box in my pantry so that it wasn’t SO accessible! I am SUCH a mustard lover too. Like I said- put it on pizza. JUST DO IT. And then thank me later (and plain ol’ yellow is best for that!)
Can’t believe you found the Jack in the car- that is crazy!
Pizza, huh? When I was in high school, we used to have this cheese-stuffed crust pizza that I thought at the time was PURE HEAVEN…I’ve had it since then and am convinced I had experienced some sort of head trauma back then, but whatevs…anywho! I used to dip the crust in ketchup so I can totally see how mustard might work…especially now that in my mind mustard > ketchup! Definitely trying this!
And yeah, sooooo glad I didn’t get pulled over! Eeeek!
I’ll help you eat the chips… and the mustard! I have a crazy nut butter collection. Help me eat that too??? 😉 So glad Elvira is going to be okay. That Jack in the rental is crazy!
Well, since you asked…hand over a spoon! Help you eat nut butter? Yeah, you TOTALLY twisted my arm on that one! 😉
Thanks girl, I’m really hoping I’ll be able to pick her up tomorrow or the next day…pray for me though because I start my work week tonight…AND it’s an hour drive to where she is! o.O
I think it only kind of counts as a food collection, but I definitely collect cookbooks! Every birthday/Christmas, I ask for new ones.
Oh my gosh, I used to be totally addicted to cookbooks! I eventually had to tell my family (and myself) to end it once and for all…I never even make the food…I just flip through the pages and drool over the pictures! It’s just like looking at blogs! Lol
I am now going to inspect every rental car I get VERY thoroughly. Clearly they knew you needed a little somethin’ after the stress of Elvira’s illness. Score!
Haha! I have to admit though…after finding the Jack, I popped the trunk to make sure there wasn’t a hooker trapped inside! 😉
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Oh my Jesus I love mustard lol Best is French’s honey mustard dip…
Yellow mustard, Dijon mustard, honey mustard, maple mustard, sweet & spicy mustard, tarragon mustard, horseradish mustard, wasabi mustard… Oh yes. Gorgeous. I’m having roasted beets from the garden tonight with mustard aioli 😀