Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!

Not only did I tell my mom that I would take care of everything when it came to her birthday dinner this past weekend, but I also decided that I wanted to bake her a cake completely from scratch. And since I rarely EVER make bake,Β I knew it had to be something special…

German Chocolate Cake 2

I also knew that I wanted something to challenge me in the kitchen. I mean, what’s the point in going out to the store and buying a cart full of ingredients, just to come home and prepare a cake that’s basically one step away from a box mix?

Little did I know when I found Bobby Flay’s recipe for German Chocolate Cake with Coconut-Pecan Cajeta FrostingΒ that I would end up making it a thing ALL my own!

Sex Cake Meme

The kind of sex that’s long, drawn out, and covered in sticky cu-

Coconut Pecan Caramel Sauce

I’ll tell you right now, it’s a LENGTHY process…but in the end all thatΒ stroking stirring pays off…ESPECIALLY when you get to surprise the heck out of everyone when you FLASH THEM a smile and confess that it’s not as DIRTY as it appears!

It started with changing just a few things in the beginning of the recipe…opting for whole wheat pastry flour because that’s what I had on hand (plus, I wanted it to produce a somewhat denser cake, because I sinking my teeth into “air” when it comes to cake), reducing the sweeteners a bit so we all didn’t die from sugar shock, and as a lactose-challenged individual, I just simply refused to purchase the UNGODLY amount of cow AND goat milk for ONE FRIGGIN’ CAKE!

German Chocolate Cake 5

Since I reduced the sugar in the cake and went with a more dark chocolate flavor for the Β topping, I decided to keep the filling sweet…as caramel sauce should be…but I have to say I was truly amazed that I pulled it off without a single drop of milk!

Oh and I just want you guys to know that I totally winged it when it came to the ganache and ended up with a bit too much for the recipe, but rest assured NONE of that dark and decadent deliciousness is going to waste! πŸ˜€


Who knows, I may become a chocolate lover after all! πŸ˜‰

German Chocolate [SEX] Cake

By:Β Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli

Adapted from this recipe via foodnetwork.com

Prep Time: 1 1/2 hours

Cook Time: 2 hours

Keywords: bake boil dessert Β vegetarian cocoa powder coconut milk whole wheat pastry flour almond milk

Ingredients (One 2-layer cake)

    For the Cake

    • 12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus more for greasing the pans
    • 2 1/4 cups whole wheat pastry flour
    • 3 teaspoons baking powder
    • 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
    • 3/4 teaspoon salt
    • 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
    • 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
    • 1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
    • 1 cup granulated sugar
    • 1 1/2 cups strong brewed black coffee, at room temperature
    • 1 1/2 cups unsweetened almond milk + 1 1/2 Tablespoons vinegar (this will be your “buttermilk”)
    • 3 large eggs
    • 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

    For the Coconut Caramel Filling

    • 1 14 oz. can unsweetened coconut milk
    • 1 14 oz. can unsweetened light coconut milk
    • 1 cup unsweetened almond milk
    • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
    • Seeds scraped from 1/2 vanilla bean
    • 2 tablespoons honey
    • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into small pieces, cold
    • 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
    • 1/8 teaspoon salt
    • 1 Tablespoon coconut rum (optional, I used honey-flavored whiskey)
    • 1 1/4 cups coarsely chopped pecans, toasted
    • 1 1/4 cups unsweetened shredded coconut, toasted

    For the Ganache

    • 1 cup unsweetened almond milk
    • 2 Tablespoons unsalted butter
    • 1 1/2 cups unsweetened cocoa powder
    • 3/4 cup honey
    • 1/4 cup unsweetened shredded coconut, toasted, for garnish
    • 1/4 cup chopped pecans, toasted, for garnish


    For the Cake

    1. Position a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 325 degrees Fahrenheit.
    2. Butter two 9-inch-round cake pans and line the bottoms with parchment paper.
    3. Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt together in a medium bowl.
    4. Melt the butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat.
    5. Whisk in the cocoa powder and cook for 1 minute.
    6. Remove from the heat, add the brown and granulated sugars and whisk until the sugar has dissolved.
    7. Add the coffee, “buttermilk”, eggs and vanilla extract and continue whisking until smooth and just combined.
    8. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and stir until the batter is smooth.
    9. Divide the batter evenly between the prepared cake pans and bake for 40-45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with a few moist crumbs attached.
    10. Let the cakes cool in the pans on a wire rack for 20 minutes.
    11. Invert the cakes onto the wire rack and let cool at least 1 hour before frosting.

    For the Coconut Caramel Filling

    1. Combine the coconut milks and almond milk in a small saucepan and bring to a simmer over low heat.
    2. Combine the sugar and 1/4 cup water in a medium saucepan over high heat and cook WITHOUT stirring until a deep amber color, 8 to 10 minutes.
    3. Slowly and carefully whisk in the warm milk mixture and continue whisking until smooth.
    4. Add the vanilla seeds and honey.
    5. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to medium and cook, stirring occasionally, until the sauce is reduced by half and the consistency of caramel sauce, about 55 minutes.
    6. Remove from the heat and whisk in the butter, vanilla extract, salt and liquor (if using).
    7. Transfer the sauce to a medium bowl and stir in the pecans and shredded coconut.
    8. Let the frosting cool to room temperature, stirring it occasionally, before frosting the cake.

    For the Ganache

    1. Bring the almond milk to a simmer in a small saucepan.
    2. Add butter, allow to melt, then remove from heat.
    3. Whisk in cocoa powder, honey, and vanilla extract and continue whisking until smooth.
    4. Allow to cool 45 minutesΒ to 1 hour before adding to cake.

    For the Cake Assembly (see also pictures at end of post)

    1. Place one cake round top side up on a large plate or cake stand.
    2. Top with the coconut caramel filling, spreading out to the edges of the cake.
    3. Carefully, place the other cake round top side down on top.
    4. Slowly pour ganache over the top of the cake, allowing some to drip down the sides.
    5. Sprinkle the top with toasted coconut and pecans.
    6. Let sit at room temperature for at least 30 minutes before slicing.
    7. Serve with a scoop of non-dairy ice cream.

    Powered by Recipage

    German Chocolate Cake 1

    German Chocolate Cake 2

    German Chocolate Cake 3German Chocolate Cake 4German Chocolate CakeTa daaaaaaaaaaaa! πŸ˜€

    What’s the last thing you baked?

    Do you ALWAYS follow a recipe or is it more of a “suggestion”?

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    50 Responses to Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!

    1. I want to faceplant in it. Yum, yum YUM! I forgot how much I love German chocolate – it used to be my fav cake!

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Can you believe I used to HATE coconut as a kid? It wasn’t until a few years ago that I gave it another shot…now I’m a freaking coconut FIEND!! Lol

    2. Jessie says:

      I wish I could jump through this computer screen and eat it all up… maybe if i click my heels three times & say theres no place like Heather’s chocolate cake i’ll get a bite out of it??

    3. Holy whoa now….note to self, come visit you when it’s my birthday! That cake looks INSANE!

    4. Lucie says:

      I am licking my screen!!!!

    5. I would lick that caramel filling out of a homeless man’s belly button.

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Omg, I just about fell out of my frickin’ CHAIR!!! If I had broken my hip, it would have been on YOUR conscience, woman!! Bahahaha!

    6. That is such a gorgeous cake! My birthday’s in October, so if you want to send one of those my way around then…. πŸ˜€
      I’m glad you’re coming over to the dark (read: chocolate) side, it’s the place to be πŸ˜‰

    7. This is amazing! I’m not one that really sticks to recipes since I pretty much know how the different flours work for me and with always having to replace the dairy along with not wanting to use as much sweetener as most recipes call for either…well, recipes are more for ideas for me, not for the actual recipe.

      Last thing I baked was blueberry muffins. The kids are on a muffin kick these days. Next up is chocolate chip muffins!

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Oh yeah, I hear ya on the sweetener! I’m so sensitive to sugar so I hate it when I spend all that time making something and then it’s too sweet for me to enjoy! I know I can always decrease it with recipes I find in magazines, cookbooks, and online, but I get a little nervous reducing it with some blogger recipes because I never know how they are with sugar. One of the MANY reasons why I trust your creations so much…it’s like we share the same taste buds! And omg, now I need to make some muffins! πŸ˜€

    8. Holy cow. This looks so freaking good.

    9. Licks tip of index finger, touches Heather’s shoulder and sizzle!
      This cake is sexy as hell! Go get you some, and then share a slice with little old me.

    10. Sara @ fitcupcaker says:

      OMG, I want! Looks so amazing! Your mom must have been very proud!

    11. Recipes are always a suggestion to me. You’ll know the last thing I baked by looking at da’ blog! πŸ™‚
      Ummmm….HEYYYYYY You a sexy lady!!! OOOOOO you a sexy lady!!!
      I just sang you a song…
      Now coat me in coconut pecan caramel, drizzle me with ganache…and…
      Well frankly after that, please leave me alone, I’ll tend to myself πŸ˜‰

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Bahahahaha!!! Or…well, I could just call the hubby to be to come and er, give you a hand! The man-friend and I may or may not have played around with the thought of making another batch of caramel just for “fun”! πŸ˜‰

    12. I cannot even handle how delicious this looks!! You amaze me ;). Now please send me a piece??

    13. Laura says:

      New poster here. This looks great, but you can’t exactly call a cake that contains butter dairy free :/

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Oh dude, I’m an idiot! I just got so focussed on the milk that I didn’t even think about the butter! Haha! Whoops? πŸ˜‰

    14. THAT is a masterpiece. WOW. just WOW.

      I want it!! Looks super duper yummO!

    15. Mom says:

      This is the best cake!!! I loved it…and I was very sorry to see the last piece go last night!! I appreciate all that time you spent on making my cake! Thank you so much sweetie!

      I love you…Mom

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Aww, you’re SO welcome, mama! And yeah, I SOMEHOW managed to make my piece last over the course of three days…but I’m pretty sure I shed a tear or two during those last couple of bites! Hmmm, wonder how sure Tori is about NOT having a birthday cake? I feel a little baking frenzy coming on! Lol

    16. purelytwins says:

      WOW!!! that is one good looking cake πŸ™‚
      Our grandfather loved german chocolate cake!!

    17. Lauren says:

      german chocolate cake is my bf’s FAVORITE. I’ve made it before for his birthday/valentine’s day, but I’ll have to try this recipe next time πŸ™‚

    18. I love that this post it titled talking about sex and you mention your mom in the first line. LOL!

      This is one of my mom’s favorite cakes too. Pinned it to try out for her on her birthday. πŸ™‚

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Haha! Yeah, I thought about that before I hit publish, but then I remembered where I got my lack of filter/dirty mouth from and figured it just fit! Ok, ok…so mayyyyyybe I got it from my dad…but they’ve been married for over 30 years now so she’s TOTALLY used to it! Lol

    19. Ooooh girl, this cake looks INSANE!! Love love love all the coconut, caramel and pecan representation. I’m planning on baking a cake for my mom’s birthday Friday, and miiiight have to put on my big girl panties (this is sex cake, after all), and belly up to the challenge. It looks too good *not* too. Thanks for the inspiration, my dear! <3 xoxoxo

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Aww, thanks love! And hey, if I can do it, ANYONE can!! Honestly, it’s not at all hard, it’s just a lot of steps…and waiting. Plus, I made the WHOLE thing in the man-friend’s kitchen…now if that’s not enough to convince you, I don’t know what will! Lol

    20. UMMM WOWSERS!!!!! Would you look at the caramel and deliciousness of that!!! AMAZING!!

    21. Oh my goodness yummmm! Coconut + chocolate + caramel may just be the most amazing flavour combination ever! I didn’t realize German chocolate cake has pecans in it, but I bet if I made this I could just use almonds instead.

      The last thing I baked was zucchini bread… which I forgot to add the raisins and eggs too. Oops haha. Somehow it still came out okay though!

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Oh wow, the baking gods were on your side that day for sure! I can’t believe it came out alright without eggs! Haha!

        Crap…I forgot you’re allergic to pecans too! But oh with almonds it would be like an ALMOND JOY CAKE!!! 😯

    22. Oh my goodness, lady! You totally outdid yourself this time… but in a very, very, VERY good way. That chocolate ganache looks absolutely to-die for. Thank you for the absolutely mesmerizing recipe. I really hope to try it soon!

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Awww, thank you SO much Brittany!! Seriously, I’ve got the biggest grin on my face right now! You always know how to make me feel special! Love ya girl!! xoxo

    23. Why can’t this be GF??? Oh my stars….

    24. Kat says:

      Good GAAWWWDDDD!
      My grandma used to make German chocolate cake almost every weekend. I have such an infatuation with that cake! I must say though, the use of the ganache on bread with bloobs is what really stole the show in my opinion πŸ˜‰

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Haha, you liked that, did you? Just couldn’t help myself…the next best thing to having birthday cake for breakfast is finding a way to incoporate “frosting” into a meal before noon! πŸ˜‰

    25. Oh girl this looks amazing! I’ve never had a German chocolate cake (totally didn’t know what it was until I started reading blogs) but now I think I need to make a GF version!

      • And I am button happy today as I clicked submit before I even finished typing. I kinda sorta NEVER follow recipes exactly – unless they’re my own. I’m always adding things here, changing things there – it drives Jesse nuts – but the results taste good πŸ˜‰

        Like you, I always reduce the sugar! I have blood sugar issues so I usually keep things on the not so sweet side. I made the mistake of eating a chocolate fudgesicle in Louisiana without eating anything to balance out the sugar (usually protein or fat works) and totally blacked out and freaked out jesses family haha

    26. Pingback: Friday Favorites – Blog Love | Fit Swiss Chick

    27. You mean the word ‘recipe’ doesn’t meant ‘suggestion’? πŸ™‚

      This looks amazing. I have to say, the only time I made a cake from scratch it was a Red Velvet monster that caused my kitchen to look like a scene from CSI. It was delicious, yes, but I have NO patience. For my mama, maybe…

      I am SUPER impressed. But mostly I just want the caramel filling.

    28. You have me drooling at 615am.

    29. Love it
      Looks Yum
      Would love a slice now .Will have to give this a go

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Thank you so much, Sophia! I’d love to know what you think! It was definitely a winner with my family! πŸ™‚

    30. dina says:

      that cake is ooey gooey deliciousness!

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Thank you so much, Dina! It’s been the talk of my family ever since! Lord knows I’m gonna have my work cut out for me for my mom’s birthday THIS year! Haha!

    31. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t the title of the cake that hooked me first. But then I saw and… OMG!

    32. Cris says:

      Oh my God! This looks so good! I`m definitly trying this out ~ Thanks for sharing πŸ™‚

      • kissmybroccoli says:

        Haha! Thank you, Cris! Let me know what you think…it was definitely a winner with my family! πŸ™‚

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