Just Me…

Brace yourself…things are about to get REAL over here!

Have you ever have one of those “aha” moments?

And I don’t mean the moment when you think up a
new combo for your bowl of oatmeal. ;)

Nope, I mean one of those,
“Oh my God, THAT’S what my problem is!” moments.

Well, thanks to Lindsay, I JUST had one of those…I swear that girl just has a knack for coaxing you into introspective thoughts…it’s downright hypnotizing!

Her latest post was about problems she’s been facing lately…but not just a depressing rant of things that are wrong in her life. No, Lindsay is my kind of woman…a woman with solutions.

No need to be a Negative Nancy…
Let’s add some almond milk to that half-FULL glass! 

At the end of the post, she asked what problems we’ve been facing lately and how we plan to solve them…before I knew it, my fingers were flying across my keyboard and in minutes, I had a short novel describing what’s been on my mind lately that, before this morning, I hadn’t been able to put into words.

Here’s my comment:

My Problem: Myself…for the last few weeks, I’ve been battling negative body image thoughts. I still weigh the same as I did a month ago, but after being in an exercise rut/funk/whatever last month, I can tell that something’s different. I don’t have that same tightness I had a few weeks ago…and I definitely don’t have the endurance I had when I was pounding out Tuesday Trainer workouts! When I got back from Blend, I had a hard time readjusting to normal life and I got lazy…basically stopped working out and not really giving much thought to eating clean. I guess I was stuck in “vacation mode”…plus, working out is so much more fun with my Blends!

My Solution: I’ve been trying all sorts of different workouts and I even drove halfway across town yesterday to go running at my one of my favorite trails…I’m waiting to feel that “this is fun” feeling again, but so far it hasn’t happened yet. Just feels like a chore to check off the list. Fake it till you make it, right? As far as my diet goes, I’ve been juicing pretty much every day (which I LOVE), drinking a crap-ton of water, and trying to really listen to my body’s hunger cues. Pretty sure I have THAT part mastered. I’ve been feeling lighter and fresher with the water and juice and I haven’t been craving “junk” since I loaded my fridge with fruits and veggies for juice experimentation! Hungry? Well, grab one of the 35 carrots that you have in there! :)

I’ve mentioned that I’ve been a bit stressed out since I got back from Blend but since I like to do my best to keep things upbeat and positive on the blog, I didn’t want to just ramble on about how “blah” I’ve been feeling lately.

Then I thought…why try to hide the REAL me?

This blog is a reflection of me…the good, the bad, and the sometimes “unhappy-with-myself”, me.

So this is me….

No joking…

No sarcasm….

Just me.

And “just me” is about to make some changes to turn things around. Because it’s not just that I’ve been feeling “out of it” when it comes to getting back to my healthy life style…it’s something more. A feeling that life is ticking by and I’m just along for the ride…but I’m not gonna be just be another passenger…because if there’s anything I hate more, it’s that feeling of being carried away with the flow in life. It’s time to regain some control and get “just me” back to “HAPPY me”!

We are only here for a short time…shouldn’t we enjoy EVERY minute of it?

What have you been struggling with lately and what do you plan to do about it?

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25 Responses to Just Me…

  1. lindsay says:

    well i am glad you shared. We all go through those motions, just in a different platform. And We can all relate! We’re here to support. Those feelings are sometimes in our head. I think you look great, sound great, and are doing the best you can. Be kind to yourself. Youre gorgeous!

  2. Oh, Heather, I can relate to this post so much right now. I am just now coming out of a “funk” period. After an entire year of balancing both my full time job and my full time Graduate classes, I finally have a break. I didn’t realize just HOW worn down and tired I had become until my schedule allowed me to have this much needed summer off from classes. I was not working out, barely eating right, and basically had no interest in any fun hobbys or activities. Life had stalled for me. It really took taking a few things off my plate before I was able to really feel like myself again. Hang in there, I know you will persevere!

    • In addtion, let me just say, I think you should embrace this feeling. Don’t think of it as something bad or negative, but perhaps something your body and mind are needing right now. I think sometimes we need a rest from the routine, and perhaps your BLEND retreat helped ignite that. After your “rest” you may be able to bounce back with more gusto than you had before! (And now I will step down off my soapbox. The counselor in me gets a little carried away at times.)

  3. Ok I want to say this in the nicest way possible because I love you. And know these comments come from someone who hated their body and it obviously became a problem.

    There was a point in my life where I took charge of my body. I was one of those eaters who never cared. Cheese fries, fried chicken, pizza. I didnt care. Then I realized hey I nEed to do something about this. And I did. And now. I regret it. I lost the weight but am I happier? No. I look back on the careless times I had wih Matt, us going out with friends, and not worrying about every little thing that went in my mouth. That was when I was happy. I would give anything to have those 15 pounds back and the ability to be carefree and just have fun.

    Remember you are amazing no matter what your body looks like or what society tells us what we should look like. I understand wanting to be healthy and FEEL better but make sure thats really why you’re doing it. I know you’re having an amazing time with BB, just enjoy that. Find the balance. Just make sure you’re really happy.

    Hope that came off like I mean it. I have a different view on things and sometimes get paranoid others will fall into the trap I did. I just care about you doll and I’ve always admired you for being carefree and enjoying food for what it is. Food.

    <3

  4. I’m so glad you shared! I hope you start feeling better soon. I think we’ve all been there and it’s rough pulling yourself back out. <3

  5. Thank you for sharing this! It honestly helps to write about it. I think everyone goes through those times where they get in an exercise funk. I know I sure have, but changing it up has helped me get past that!

  6. elise says:

    thanks for sharing girl. we all get in ruts and the hard part is as bloggers, i think we feel like its not acceptable to whine or be down or anything…we have a persona and we are supposed to be happy and excited so when people click over to read about our lives they are warm and fuzzy…oooor not? thats definitely not my job. being rela and honest is why people come to this site and its posts like this that really resonate. its like, well thank GOODNESS shes got issues too!
    lately my policy is very minimalist when it comes to the blog. my private life is private. im only sharing the pieces i want to. that way i dont have to feign enthusiasm for things im not thrilled about but i can share the things i AM passionate about and i truly and honestly want to.
    cool? cool. keep your head up. hugs.

  7. Heather I can totally relate to this! I felt the exact same way after my road trip in May where I spent a week stuffing my face with food and doing minimal exercise. It can be hard to deal with a period of low self esteem when we’re so used to feeling awesome about ourselves. It’s like “Uhh where did this come from!?” But I think it’s something we all struggle with from time to time. I found that making a plan really helped me get back to feeling awesome again. I hope your plan does the same for you! :)

  8. real. raw. honest.
    i love it.
    and you.
    and your solution to your problem – consider this my reply to that comment (that made me smile and frown at the same time).
    I think you’re amazing.

  9. Oh Heather, we all go through these thoughts and feelings. I’m impressed you can keep things so upbeat on your blog while you’re feeling this way. I’m the worst with trying to sugar coat things. This is why I really haven’t blogged much lately. I want to be more honest and I want to be real, but the real me doesn’t want to exude negativity on others either. Keep your chin up and keep on moving forward. Hugs to you!

  10. Kris says:

    you’re a cutie. that last photo is a good one.

    you are not alone, we all go through the mean reds. the important part of going through them, though, is how you react and what you do. you recognized it, you put it out there, and with that you are halfway there – you’ll get back to your happy self in no time!

    XXO

  11. Have I told you lately that I love you? :)
    You’re so freakin’ awesome, it’s crazy!
    I’ve been dealing with the whole “what am I doing with my life?” in the what I call my 20s crisis and I’m working to bust it out. I’m starting my accepting what my next step and move needs to be, despite the challenges that it may/WILL present to me. But sometimes you just have to go home to regroup. <3

  12. Lizzi says:

    You are quite possibly the biggest babe on the planet – remember that!
    I’ve been feeling very similar – in a workout/diet rut… but it’s more of a reflection of a BIGGER, more GENERAL rut I’ve been in. Not good. So time for changes, new experiences, and a bit more ‘spice’ (literal and metaphorical :p). Good for you for ‘getting real’ with yourself… especially publicly too!
    Oh yeah.. and did I mention you’re a babe? You’re a babe. Got it? Good.

  13. Amber says:

    I love the honesty, i think we all have those feelings from time to time.
    Setting a new specific goal always helps me, a race, a PR, a new workout/challenge.
    Hope you feel better soon!

  14. LOVE this post. I’ve been feeling pretty similarly lately. The feelings come and go but I’m definitely on my “off” mode right now and trying to get back on the right track and in the right mindset. I’m glad you posted this, we all already know you are freaking awesome and showing that you have some downs to your ups just makes you that much more awesome and relatable :)

  15. Lexie says:

    I think the more you let out your feelings, the better it will get. A strong face is only beneficial to you; people naturally want to help (ahem, see the above comments) and faking your own sadness always worsens it. I made a chart of all my extreme depression days, and I find it’s when I just don’t talk. I just bottle everything up and then I get home and literally explode with melancholia. If I start letting the steam out bit by bit, I never feel the need to explode; and hey, who am I to preach, last week every day was an explosion day.

    As for the body image; I feel your pain, woman. So much. I always love this quote though, it cheers me up tenfold-
    “I refuse to spend time worrying about what I eat. No pleasure is worth forgoing just for another ten years in the geriatric ward.”
    “We spend so much time worrying about our health and beauty that, at the end, we realize we have had no time to enjoy it.”

  16. believe it or not, I find myself struggling with the exact same things!! It seems like a healthy-living blogger phenomenon really!! .. we try so hard to be the best version of ourselves and it is sometimes so hard to keep up I think… oh welll, you need to listen to yourself and your body .. but if that isnt the hardest thing of them all I dont know what is

    all the best from Austria xoxo

  17. Like everyone else said, your not alone! I’ve been feeling the same way lately, just been super busy and in a rut. Trying to find my routine again. I just canceled my gym membership too and plan on just working out at home/outdoors, so I’m nervous about that too. Just take it one day at a time and hopefully things will just fall into place. XOXO

  18. Carly says:

    It’s nice to hear someone else say I guess, but I understand where you come from. For me it was more like i have been struggling with finding the balance between eating healthy and sometimes eating things that I don’t consider so healthy. Like I get so wrapped up in being healthy and working out that I forget that yeah I am only 18 and I only live once and yeah I should enjoy those greasy fries and brownie sundae every once in a while. You gotta live it up! I’m sure you will find your groove in exercising. Maybe try a Zumba class? I love them and they pump me up sooo much(:

  19. I could not have picked a better blog, post, person to be the first I attempted to “catch back up with”! I have not been having the workout and eating slumps that you have, but I HAVE been pushing myself there, and trying to maintain control over that aspect of life, because I feel like everything else is sometimes spinning out. I’ve been in an up-and-down funk since Memorial Day, with no job for next school year, my stuff still in boxes from my move, and just a state of flux, you know? I was actually planning on writing a very similar post to this one later in the week.

    Love you LOTS! (In fact, I was talking about how joyful it was to meet you in person over the weekend at our Virginia Bloggers party.)

  20. Lauren says:

    I’ve been struggling with negative body image thoughts lately too. It’s hard and while I totally respect your decision to “fake it till you make it,” I’ve been going to opposite route and realizing that I need to give myself a break. I can be really hard on myself and that’s not a healthy thing. I hope you find some happiness no matter how you choose to get there.

  21. Hey girl, first of all, you are beautiful. I know you weren’t fishing for compliments and just wanting to vent, but it is what it is.

    And I am finally getting out of my funk after being sick for two weeks and not being able to run my half-marathon. It was weird because I had scheduled workouts for the half, but then there was no half…

    Thanks for being open and honest with everyone…it’s okay to not be 100 percent cheerful all the time! :-)

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  23. I’m just catching up from vacation – sorry I’m late commenting. But OMG – you are so amazing just as you are. Whatever your plan, do what makes you happy and what makes your body happy. No one can be balls to the walls all the time. xoxo

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