Cue the music…
Alternate title (without leg warmers):
What happens when I think my boyfriend could be lying in a ditch somewhere dying from a snakebite…
Notice the time difference?
It started out innocently enough…
I’m just washing the dishes left over from dinner a couple of nights ago.
Then I wipe off the kitchen counters and accidentally sweep some crumbs onto the floor.
So I get out the broom…
and then the mop…
The next couple of hours are all a blur…
Until I found myself in the standing in the shower, covered in Comet with a sponge in my hand.
What, doesn’t everybody get inside the shower to clean it?
If so, I’m sure you also take enough time to take a picture when you notice that your toenail polish matches the Comet EXACTLY!
On the one hand, there are PLENTY of other ways to determine how much a person truly cares about you.
On the other hand, at least if he HAD died, my place would’ve been MORE than presentable for the wake 😉
Luckily, he DID live through it…otherwise all this effort would have gone to waste.
Step 1: Score a super cheap pepperoni pizza
Step 2: Take said pepperoni pizza home.
Deflower De-pepperoni the pizza.
Step 4: Cover it in everything but the kitchen sink.*
*kale, mushrooms, grilled chicken, onions, kalamata olives, sundried tomatoes, cauliflower
Step 5: Bake.
Step 6: Eat.
Step 7: Drink.
What do you do when you’re worried/upset about something?
Usually, I head to the gym, but I’m about 99% sure after today that this method is much more effective…gets your heart rate up AND your house looks oh so sparkly afterwards.
One side effect: “Sponge arm”…aka, I’m almost positive the my right bicep is now double the size of my left!