You Gaaaaaaaaah-EYES!!!! 😀
I just finished reading through all the beautiful comments left on my blog birthday post and I’m….well, I’m just…ok, obviously I’m a little speechless at the moment. No, actually, that’s not true at all. The trouble is there are so many words running through my head right now that I’m having trouble forming complete sentences.
In the hour that it took me to read all ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE entries, I smiled, I blushed, I giggled, I laughed out loud (like really, not just when you say “lol” and in reality, your face is void of emotion…don’t say you haven’t done it), I raised my imaginary wine glass, I went to the kitchen for a glass of wine and then raised my ACTUAL wine glass, I fell back into my chair, I sighed, I clapped a hand to my chest, I muttered things to myself, and while some may have wondered what exactly was in my wine glass or if I had somehow become possessed by a sly demon with obvious good taste in host flesh, I really just felt my heart had grown so big that it would burst out of a gold frame just like the Grinch. And I immediately felt the need to write the longest run-on sentence I’ve ever written in my 1,460+ days of blogging…followed by a fragment because I know you guys also come here for grammar lessons! 😉
But seriously…I’m sorry, I always deflect to humor whenever I have to deal with unexpected emotions. The truth is, I almost cried at least twice. Good tears of course. I just feel so overwhelmed with emotion right now. So loved. So understood.
I have a confession to make.
For the last year, I’ve been seriously thinking about closing KMB’s virtual doors, especially since I’ve started posting less and less in regards to recipes. This blog has gone through many phases in these last four years and I’ve grown and changed a lot during that time. I was starting to think that maybe I’d outgrown it all. I would have days where I would sit to write and they would be painful…it would take me HOURS to type up a 500-word post, but other days, I would have so much excitement over something, that my fingers could barely keep up. Plus, the more I thought about it, the more I struggled with the emotions and connotations associated with what it would mean to me to just “give up” this whole thing. I know that I am not solely defined by my bloggerdom (ok, well that makes me feel like a princess!), but maybe I just needed a little validation…I think we all do at times…I just had to know if it all really mattered anymore.
I never expected the flood of emotions I would feel while scrolling through entries from loyal commenters, lurkers finally introducing themselves and confessing to being long-time readers, and even newbies too! Knowing that my energy and attitude come through so positively in my writing makes me bounce up and down in my chair. Knowing that many of you are doing your best to stifle giggles and/or not spit all over your computer screen while reading is just
icing peanut butter on the cake brownie. But knowing that through it all, you guys really see me for ME, that’s the best part. Well, besides getting to brighten a certain someone’s day.
The winner of KMB’s 4th Birthday Giveaway issssss…
Congratulations Jess! Expect an email from me later today to collect your information so that you can soon be rolling in a pile of all these bars! 😉
I want to thank you all for entering and for literally making my day. I wish so much that I could give more than just one person something tangible to show my gratitude, but since I can’t really afford to make my way to each and every one of your homes and personally BEAR HUG YOU, these words will have to do. I hope you can feel all sincerity in my “voice” and know that I love you all so much!