Monday Morning Madness

Hello broccoli fans! Hope everyone is enjoying their week so far. We’ve been getting a lot of storms here lately…not sure if I live in Tennessee or Kansas with the number of tornado warnings in the past week! Let’s hope I don’t get blown too far away…though I wouldn’t totally object to a little vacation to Oz…just keep the Lollipop dudes on their side of the yellow brick road! 😉

So I decided to do a little post about a typical Monday morning in Casa de Broccoli. Unfortunately, the definition of “typical” lately has been just about anything on a scale from 1 to oh, I’d say, mental breakdown. Yeah, that balance I thought I found after my little staycation? Well, I guess I lost it again. Please let me know if anyone turns it in to lost and found, though I can’t afford a reward 🙁 Howabout cookies?

Before we get started, let me just say that Monday was no exception to the above definition.

  • 6:00am – Alarm goes off.
  • 6:10am – Miraculously find myself in workout clothes and take a second for what I deem a “pre-workout snack

  • 6:15am – Join my girl J. Dub in a morning workout

  • 6:45am – Curse the day Jackie Warner was born as I lay in the floor gasping for air Finish workout and feel oh so bright about the day ahead!
  • 6:46am – Admire my fancy schmancy media center in my workout room

  • 7:00am – Shower
  • 7:15am – Dry off, put gel in hair and give time to air dry, put on comfy robe and monkey slippers
  • 7:20am – Head to kitchen for lifeforce coffee
  • 7:25am – Breakfast and blog reading

Kath’s Dough Boy Smoothie topped with coconut and Jessica’s Almost-Elvis Granola! Yum!

  • 8:00am – Pack lunch for work
  • 8:15am – Decide what pajamas (scrubs) I’m wearing for the day, makeup, finishing touches, shoot a gun finger to the bathroom mirror, and…
  • 8:40am- Out the door!
Word to ya mutha!

Now HERE is where the morning stops and the madness begins!

  • 8:41am – Hit garage door opener button
  • 8:42am – Get out of car and realize that the garage door isn’t opening properly.
  • 8:43am – Hit garage door opener about a bajillion more times in hopes that on the 326th time, it will actually do something different.
  • 8:46am – Run back into house, rip open the filing cabinet and frantically search for the owner’s manual to try to figure out how in the heck I’m going to get out of my garage!
  • 8:50am – Find manual and disengage garage door, back car out into drive and head back in to “fix” the door (read, do anything to get it to shut so I can make it to work at least almost on time!)
  • 9:00am – Realize that my dad has my only house key and speed dial Bob the Builder (only other person with a key) and tell him my dilemma
Ok, maybe he doesn’t look exactly like this, but I swear there’s a striking resemblance! 😉
  • 9:05am – Call work and explain situation now that I am obviously late to work (supposed to be there at 9am)
  • 9:06am – Start pacing the front step waiting on Bob the Builder who said he was only minutes down the road.
  • 9:09am – Realize I look like a crazy lady and go inside before I scare my new neighbors.
  • 9:30am – Bob the Builder arrives (what’d you do, Flintstone it?!)
  • 10:30am – FINALLY leave the house to go to work…taking with me one key for the house and leaving behind one broken garage door.
  • 10:40am – Say, “What the hay, I’m already late” and stop by the store for this:

  • 10:55am – Get back in the car and head on my merry little way to work.
  • 10:56am – Suddenly realize Andy is “setting me up”
  • 11:00am – Proceed to have a pent-up, came-out-of-nowhere mental breakdown as the officer writes me up a lovely one of these:

  • 11:ooam – Call my dad and scare the heck out of him as I tell him ALL about the morning while still continuing with the previous bullet!
  • 11:30am – Arrive to work, makeup-less (I am so purchasing duplicates of everything and hoarding them in my locker from now on!), sporting my biggest pair of shades.
  • 11:45am – Cleaned up, ready to work (sort of)…and still trying to figure out how exactly going to the store the day after Easter saved me ANY money on a Cadbury Egg!
These things BETTER be worth it, that’s all I have to say!
Anybody ever paid $135.00 for a Cadbury Egg??

PS, It’s ok to laugh! I am…NOW! 😉

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34 Responses to Monday Morning Madness

  1. BrittFit says:

    haha great story sorry about the ticket! Your hilarious…love the workout set up and breakfast choice 😉

  2. Laughing but so sad for you Heather. What a rough morning. My goodness, everything seemed to go wrong! Hope your Tuesday was much better than your Monday. Stay safe tonight. The coming storms sound bad. 🙁

  3. Lindsay says:

    Oh wow, what a day! I can’t even imagine 🙁 Although your story had me laughing a bit too. I think most of can relate to those kind of days. Think of it this way, the rest of the week can ONLY get better! 😉

    Love your blog posts, they always make me laugh.

  4. oh you always tell stories ins uch a humorous way… I’m so sorry your day was so crazy though! that egg looks awesome I’ve def never seen that “assortment” thing before!

    enjoy your cadbury love <3 hope tomorrow goes a little more smoothly 😉


  5. melissa says:

    What is the name of that workout video, do you have any other videos u would recommend?

    • This video is Jackie Warner’s Timesaver Training DVD and although I’ve only tried a few DVD’s, I have to say this one is my absolute favorite! It’s all about functional training (meaning it uses movements that you would use on a daily basis) and it combines multiple moves to really get your heart pumping!

      I also have Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred DVD. It’s the same concept as Jackie Warner’s, but in about half the time. I like that I can get a full body workout done in 20 minutes, but I don’t feel like I get as much out of it. It’s always nice to have though when I just don’t feel like getting my rear handed to me! 😉

  6. Wowee, what a day! At least it started with such a good looking cookie 🙂

  7. Noooooo….ugh. What a morning. Sorry, girl :
    I’ve gotta say, though, I loved the “What the heck, I’m already late” sentiment. I’m the same way…if I’m late already I might as well just keep taking my time, right?!
    I hope today goes smoother!!

  8. lindsay says:

    girl, you stories are crazy. I just have to laugh though. I would have cried my eyes out to the officer. Then called me dad too! Hope you savor ever bit of that egg!

  9. Love the macbook pro! No idea what I would do without mine 😉

  10. Anastasia says:

    I thought all the Easter candy would be cheaper the day after haha :] Rough mornings are the worst and here’s to hoping they run a lil’ more smoothly from here on out!

  11. Joanna says:

    I hate days like this where one thing throws you off and then it’s like a snowball effect for the rest of the day. Being that I can’t just get back in bed & call it a day (which is of course the ideal way to handle a bad morning), I’ve learned to accept my ‘off’ days instead of trying to fight them which only makes it worse. Hopefully today will be a better morning & day for you! :O)

  12. I can’t laugh…what a mess. I am so sorry you had such a crap day. It always bums me out when I start off with a good bang and end with a horrible thud. I hope today is better and stay safe! Those storms are coming through and it sounds like it’s gonna be a bad day for all of us in the southeast.

    • Thank you Sarena! It seems to be getting progressively worse as the week goes on…I lost power for a few hours the other night. Thanking God right now that I have a tree-less yard! You stay safe too!

  13. ACK! what a crazy morning!! ahah ilove the step by step commentary! oh and NICE MEDIA set up got 😉
    heres to hoping the rest of the day went better!

  14. Lee says:

    Man, what a morning. I hope your eggs taste good!

  15. Jenny says:

    oh, you poor thing! what a day! I once got a 300 dollar ticket (in NY) for going 80 in a 65. To be honest, the only reason I was speeding was because I was starving. Ha. The price we pay for food (literally and figuratively!)

  16. Oh girl, what a morning! My gracious, that’s rough. Glad you’re able to laugh about it now. At least it makes for good bloggy material, right? 😉

    Love your media center by the way. 😉

  17. I so don’t want to giggle because oh my gosh that was a horrible morning!
    I hope today goes SO much better for you !!!

  18. Sarah says:

    oh my gosh! what a crazy morning. it’s good to be able to laugh at it though! 🙂

  19. HUGS HUGS HUGS!!!!! I hope today is WAY better!!!! xoxo

  20. Carlee says:

    Oh wow!!! ahaha busy girl!!

    AHH! I really want to try the dough boy smoothie. Is it really as good as it looks/sounds?

  21. Jenny says:

    What a crazy day!! So sorry about the ticket 🙁 Idk if I’d be laughing like you lol At least you got some kinda treat? Hope those eggs were effin amazing!

  22. Oh my gosh, what a shitty day!! I hope today is much better for you. Damn, those Cadbury eggs better be worth it, right?! Haha, don’t worry- they’re delicious! Although pretty expensive in your case :/

  23. janetha says:

    I love jackie! Oh man. your story is something else. So sorry!!

  24. I would have approved the egg pit-stop if you had gotten me one. 😉 you’re one wild woman! <3 racing around town tempting the law like that! hehe sorry love! the best part of that day is that its overrrrrrr!!!!!!! <3 and the weekend is almost here!

    love you!

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