Monday Morning Madness

Hello broccoli fans! Hope everyone is enjoying their week so far. We’ve been getting a lot of storms here lately…not sure if I live in Tennessee or Kansas with the number of tornado warnings in the past week! Let’s hope I don’t get blown too far away…though I wouldn’t totally object to a little vacation to Oz…just keep the Lollipop dudes on their side of the yellow brick road! 😉

So I decided to do a little post about a typical Monday morning in Casa de Broccoli. Unfortunately, the definition of “typical” lately has been just about anything on a scale from 1 to oh, I’d say, mental breakdown. Yeah, that balance I thought I found after my little staycation? Well, I guess I lost it again. Please let me know if anyone turns it in to lost and found, though I can’t afford a reward 🙁 Howabout cookies?

Before we get started, let me just say that Monday was no exception to the above definition.

  • 6:00am – Alarm goes off.
  • 6:10am – Miraculously find myself in workout clothes and take a second for what I deem a “pre-workout snack

  • 6:15am – Join my girl J. Dub in a morning workout

  • 6:45am – Curse the day Jackie Warner was born as I lay in the floor gasping for air Finish workout and feel oh so bright about the day ahead!
  • 6:46am – Admire my fancy schmancy media center in my workout room

  • 7:00am – Shower
  • 7:15am – Dry off, put gel in hair and give time to air dry, put on comfy robe and monkey slippers
  • 7:20am – Head to kitchen for lifeforce coffee
  • 7:25am – Breakfast and blog reading

Kath’s Dough Boy Smoothie topped with coconut and Jessica’s Almost-Elvis Granola! Yum!

  • 8:00am – Pack lunch for work
  • 8:15am – Decide what pajamas (scrubs) I’m wearing for the day, makeup, finishing touches, shoot a gun finger to the bathroom mirror, and…
  • 8:40am- Out the door!
Word to ya mutha!

Now HERE is where the morning stops and the madness begins!

  • 8:41am – Hit garage door opener button
  • 8:42am – Get out of car and realize that the garage door isn’t opening properly.
  • 8:43am – Hit garage door opener about a bajillion more times in hopes that on the 326th time, it will actually do something different.
  • 8:46am – Run back into house, rip open the filing cabinet and frantically search for the owner’s manual to try to figure out how in the heck I’m going to get out of my garage!
  • 8:50am – Find manual and disengage garage door, back car out into drive and head back in to “fix” the door (read, do anything to get it to shut so I can make it to work at least almost on time!)
  • 9:00am – Realize that my dad has my only house key and speed dial Bob the Builder (only other person with a key) and tell him my dilemma
Ok, maybe he doesn’t look exactly like this, but I swear there’s a striking resemblance! 😉
  • 9:05am – Call work and explain situation now that I am obviously late to work (supposed to be there at 9am)
  • 9:06am – Start pacing the front step waiting on Bob the Builder who said he was only minutes down the road.
  • 9:09am – Realize I look like a crazy lady and go inside before I scare my new neighbors.
  • 9:30am – Bob the Builder arrives (what’d you do, Flintstone it?!)
  • 10:30am – FINALLY leave the house to go to work…taking with me one key for the house and leaving behind one broken garage door.
  • 10:40am – Say, “What the hay, I’m already late” and stop by the store for this:

  • 10:55am – Get back in the car and head on my merry little way to work.
  • 10:56am – Suddenly realize Andy is “setting me up”
  • 11:00am – Proceed to have a pent-up, came-out-of-nowhere mental breakdown as the officer writes me up a lovely one of these:

  • 11:ooam – Call my dad and scare the heck out of him as I tell him ALL about the morning while still continuing with the previous bullet!
  • 11:30am – Arrive to work, makeup-less (I am so purchasing duplicates of everything and hoarding them in my locker from now on!), sporting my biggest pair of shades.
  • 11:45am – Cleaned up, ready to work (sort of)…and still trying to figure out how exactly going to the store the day after Easter saved me ANY money on a Cadbury Egg!
These things BETTER be worth it, that’s all I have to say!
Anybody ever paid $135.00 for a Cadbury Egg??

PS, It’s ok to laugh! I am…NOW! 😉

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34 Responses to Monday Morning Madness

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