Realizations

Some things you just know…

Like how Wal-Mart will always be packed on a Friday night, a girl in yoga pants will consistently turn heads at the gym (no matter what her face looks like), you will most assuredly remember your reusable bags…once you’re in the checkout line, and as much as people try to say otherwise, raunchy advertising just works…

Sad, but true!

Unfortunately, other things in life take experience to understand…

Like how Elvira isn’t immortal…

Tow trucks manufactured before 1980 should be driven off a clif…

Hydraulic lift failures on said tow trucks result in a lot of cursing…

Sporty hybrids have a tendency to help you forget car woes and tow truck vendettas…

Actually, they kinda make you feel like a race car driver!

Just make sure you check under the seats before cruising down the highway…

Because rental car companies obviously don’t inspect their vehicles before giving them to someone!

The best “collections” are the ones you can eat…

And they will make ANYTHING into a mustard flavor…

The producers of Hoarders should start filming at my house Kroger…

These chips need salsa…

These chips taste like Doritos…

And all three of these chips combined…

Make you wanna smack yo mama!

No fretting about Elvira…she’s checked into a prestigious rehabilitation center (aka Carmax Service Station) and I got word from her caregivers today that she should be as good as new on Monday!

Now in the meantime, who wants to come help me eat all these chips? We can dip them in mustard while we take whiskey shots! 😉

What is something you’ve realized lately?

Do you have any “food collections”?
Mustard of course isn’t my only one, but you guys have already witnessed my massive
nut butter accumulation

Actually…it’s gotten even BIGGER since then! Lol

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27 Responses to Realizations

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