Some things in life you just know.
Others, you have to learn. Sometimes it’s an easy lesson, sometimes it’s a hard one and sometimes, it hurts…in good or bad ways, but those are the lessons that usually stick…the ones that make you feel. I’ve learned a few things recently that I thought I’d share with the class…
Once you pop, you really can’t.fucking.stop! 😯
No matter how old you are, if you go more than a week without seeing/talking to your mama, you get a little sad…ok, really sad.
Even if you only have to work ONE day in a week, it will feel like it takes five days to get through.
Even if your weekend is five days long, it will be over in what feels like ONE day.
You will never, EVER leave Target with only the items on your list.
It is possible to love something (or someone) so much it physically hurts.
The more sugar you eat, the more you crave, the more you feel like a crusty pile of poop.
Giveaways are cool, but posts that are reviewed prior to publishing and revised to the point of no longer being yours are not.
Coffee straight out of the coffee pot is really fucking hot.
There is a 38 second time delay after being woken up by a phone call in the middle of sleeping where you must make the shift from velociraptor to human.
Muffins made without butter or oil will most likely taste like cardboard.
If you go to the gym after laying out for three weeks and decide to just bust out fifty push ups…even if they ARE girly ones without stretching afterwards, you will regret it.
Leather car seats will peel at least five layers of skin off the back of your thighs at least fifty times during the summer.
Toasted sandwiches, while extremely tasty, are guaranteed to fuck up the roof of your mouth if inhaled within five minutes.
When all you have in your photo library is a can of Pringles and fourteen sunsets, you are forced to resort to Google for random memes and GIF’s to make your posts look more interesting.
If you have ADD like me, it will take you 78.9999% longer to type that post.
And if you sit at a computer for THREE hours straight, your ass will go numb.
What lesson have you learned lately?