The Truth Hurts

Some things in life you just know. 

Others, you have to learn. Sometimes it’s an easy lesson, sometimes it’s a hard one and sometimes, it hurts…in good or bad ways, but those are the lessons that usually stick…the ones that make you feel. I’ve learned a few things recently that I thought I’d share with the class…

Pringles

Once you pop, you really can’t.fucking.stop! 😯

No matter how old you are, if you go more than a week without seeing/talking to your mama, you get a little sad…ok, really sad.

Even if you only have to work ONE day in a week, it will feel like it takes five days to get through.

Even if your weekend is five days long, it will be over in what feels like ONE day.

You will never, EVER leave Target with only the items on your list.

It is possible to love something (or someone) so much it physically hurts.

The more sugar you eat, the more you crave, the more you feel like a crusty pile of poop.

Giveaways are cool, but posts that are reviewed prior to publishing and revised to the point of no longer being yours are not.

Coffee straight out of the coffee pot is really fucking hot.

There is a 38 second time delay after being woken up by a phone call in the middle of sleeping where you must make the shift from velociraptor to human.

Muffins made without butter or oil will most likely taste like cardboard.

If you go to the gym after laying out for three weeks and decide to just bust out fifty push ups…even if they ARE girly ones without stretching afterwards, you will regret it.

Leather car seats will peel at least five layers of skin off the back of your thighs at least fifty times during the summer.

Toasted sandwiches, while extremely tasty, are guaranteed to fuck up the roof of your mouth if inhaled within five minutes.

Sunset

When all you have in your photo library is a can of Pringles and fourteen sunsets, you are forced to resort to Google for random memes and GIF’s to make your posts look more interesting.

If you have ADD like me, it will take you 78.9999% longer to type that post.

And if you sit at a computer for THREE hours straight, your ass will go numb.

What lesson have you learned lately?

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44 Responses to The Truth Hurts

  1. Lately, I’ve learned that summer colds are a bigger pain in the ass than winter colds. Bah.
    Also…I 100% agree on the Pringles thing.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh man, yes, being sick in the summer is 32965 times worse! I hope you get to feeling better soon, love! Sending you healing vibes…oh and some of these: xoxox Miss you!

  2. Cat says:

    You mentioned leather car seats! My ass just cried a little.

    Ew.

    Today I learnt that whole coconuts are significantly cheaper and more fun than buying coconut-derived products. And how to operate my dad’s drill.

  3. I’ve learned to say no more often and let things go. It just isn’t worth it!

  4. LOL. YES! Love all of these and can totally relate to a fair share of them. Totally felt like a crusty pile of poop yesterday after all the lemon bars I inhaled over the weekend.

  5. Haha! Love that last one – so true!

    I have learned that ‘resting’ your eyes for 5 minutes will always lead to a full blown nap – especially if you rest on the couch!

  6. I have learnt that it’s ok to put yourself first and do what’s best for you. And if something doesn’t feel right, it most likely doesn’t feel right for a good reason.

  7. betty says:

    YES. TOASTED SANDWICHES! OUUUUUCH.

  8. Giveaways are cool, but posts that are reviewed prior to publishing and revised to the point of no longer being yours are not. <– yes, exactly why I don't agree to 99.9% of the shit that comes my way. so sick of anything like this happening.

    I love YOU so much it hurts 😉

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Awww, you make me smile so much! I miss your FACE!! And yeah, lesson learned…no more reviews for pharma companies! 😛

  9. Haaa that velociraptor meme made my day@

  10. 1. Baked potato Pringles are not bad either.
    2. That unicorn’s horn looks phallic.
    3. Were you so mad it caused an emergenC?
    4. I think I’m still scarred on the ass fromt hat time I had a convertible with black leather seats.
    5. ADD is no joke. Hey… a squirrel!!!!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      1. You? Baked POTATO Pringles? I’m in shock.
      2. Of course you would go there. Damn girl, how long’s it been? 😉
      3. Hardy har har har
      4. Eh, I still think it’s worth it to have the booty warmers in the winter! :)
      5. WHERE! I wanna see!!

  11. Love this post. Once you pop open a bag of plantain chips you really can’t stop either.

  12. Haha Target, drats, gets me every time.

    My lesson recently:
    If you take off your boot the minute you think your stress fractures have healed, then wear high heels all weekend, you will be back in your boot by Monday :(

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh CRAP! Wow girl, I give you some mad props for making it through the entire weekend in heels…I can’t even do that WITHOUT a stress fracture! Take it easy girl and rest that foot!

  13. KAT says:

    I thought that my gorgeous red leather seats inside my mustang were perfect, until summer came and I had to slide into said seats in shorts. NOT. FREAKING. COOL. Now Ive learned to keep a towel on the seats, even if it does ruin that pretty red leather!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Buuuuuuuut….are they at least heated for the winter? Because I can willingly sacrifice dermal cells for that! Lol

  14. Hahaha. So true about hot sandwiches. (hot pocket.) I’m also experiencing something similar to the too many pushups without stretching pain. Ouch.

  15. lindsay says:

    LOL! to the giveaway thing. Man that review took a long time. Not cool not cool

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Glad someone truly understands…I’m just jealous that after all that, I didn’t get to try the cranberry pomegranate! Jealous!!

  16. I am powerless in front of Pringles. Especially BBQ Pringles. Actually just all BBQ chips.

    Last week I did an online grocery order (since some stuff is available online that you can’t get in the store) and the salsa that I wanted wasn’t in stock so they sent me a bag of BBQ chips(??) instead. I *try* to keep them out of the house but, I mean, when they’re delivered to my doorstep, it’d be wrong not to eat them!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Haha! That is such a random sub-in! I gotta say they’re aren’t many chips I can turn down either…and the healthy alternative ones always leave me wanting!

  17. Oh my gosh this is hilarious… and so true.
    Mine:
    When sick you will revert to a whiny 13 year old girl.
    Call your mom too much.
    And lay in workout clothes all day without ever leaving your house to workout.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Hey, we all need that time of self pity when we’re sick! I do the same thing! Hope you get to feeling better girlie!

  18. It might have taken you three hours but it felt open, honest and gave me a glimpse of my Broccoli Babe. I liked it. Muy mucho.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      You always know how to make me smile! So glad we got our little text catch up this morning…though I have to say, it wasn’t nearly enough Meg Time. Expect a broccolibombing sometime in the (hopefully) near future! 😉

  19. LOL… so true to them all…. I have also learned that if you put on clean clothes, your baby will spit up, pee, poop, or all three on you in no time flat. Stay in scrubby clothes- no problem. I only work 2 days a week and I SWEAR it is always those 2 days…

  20. Lol that’s so true about butter and oil free muffins. I tried to do that once like 4 years ago in the early days of my blog and they turned out like little turds. Lesson learned!

    Recently I’ve learned that even though being done internship and not having a job sounds awesome in theory, it’s actually very boring. 😛

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Haha, aww! Guess you’re mind and body are used to going a million miles an hour, huh? Or in your case, KILOMETERS! 😉

      What I couldn’t believe about the muffins was that it was actually from a PACKAGE! I seriously could barely peal the wrappers off the bottom…pretty sure I consumed about 20% of them while trying to eat them…because of course, I didn’t throw them away! Lol

  21. Truth is:
    80% of spittle on my screen are from reading the broccoli blog.
    60% of it are from Arman, Laura and Meghan. Yes, I have more then 100% spit in my mouth. (wtf)

    Toast sandwiches….it’s similar to sour candy. I swear, my tastebuds, tongue and mouthroof (I swear, that’s a word!!) were destroyed after eating 5 of them in a row as a kid.

    Truth is: Even at the age of 36 there are days I don’t want anything but being a stay-at-home-daughter.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Best truths EVER…especially since I’m winning in the spittle percentage race! Lmao! Omg, the sour candy? I had a traumatizing experience with a bag of sour Skittles when I was younger…I still cringe when I see packs of them in the store! 😯

  22. Having a newborn in your house, even if it’s your 4th kid, will turn your life into the biggest clusterfuck EVER and you will wonder WTF you were thinking this was a good idea!!

  23. Pingback: Thinking Out Loud: I’m So Hungry! |

  24. Brittany says:

    BAAHAHA the first one about the Pringles, and the coffee..I died. Here’s what I’ve learned this week: people that speak so soft while ordering coffee that I can barely hear them deserve to get their coffee spilled onto their tongue so that they have a reason to speak soft. I can only say, “I’m sorry, what was that?” so many times before I fucking quit asking..NEXT.

  25. PRINGLES ARE LEGIT CRACK.

    Butter and oil free muffins are punishment. The only time it’s acceptable if there is sugar/banana/chocolate in the mix BUT with the intention to slather it with butter.

    Speaking of toasted sandwiches, I told Meg the other day I had to buy breakfast….I got a toasted swiss cheese sandwich and paid an extra $3 for 2 slices. I then left my keyboard shiny and like an ice rink. I learnt it’s worth it….until you delete half a report.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Haha! Oh noooooo! 😯 We should never be held responsible for actions during or around succumbing to cheese-coma status! 😉

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