Last Wednesday, Jamie gave me some “homework”.
For the next two weeks, I am to be completely and 100%…
After telling her about some of the things that have been stressing me out the lately, she showed me the common denominator.
I care too much about what other people think.
Oh yeah sure, I like to say I’m the girl who just marches to the beat of her own drum, who doesn’t care if people like me or not, but when it comes down to it, what I MEAN is I can do all that as long as I stay ignorant of all the negatives. I mean, really? No one wants to hear that someone dislikes them, is disappointed by them, or doesn’t accept them, but you know what?
And for too long now, I’ve been so caught up in pleasing everyone else or doing things just to make sure that I didn’t come across in a negative light, that I’ve lost sight of who I really am…what I like…what I dislike.
What do I WANT?!
One of the main reasons I decided to take a break from blogging was that I felt like I HAD to devote HOURS to each and every post…making everything as perfect as possible…the pictures, the recipes, the jokes. I had to respond to each and every comment. I had to post by a certain time…on certain days…I had link ups to join in on. And don’t even get me STARTED on finding the time to read/comment on other blogs!
Basically, I had to be SUPER blogger!
After the announcement to take a hiatus, I realized something…no, actually, I’ve always known this….
I’m an extremist.
All or nothing…it just goes with my perfectionist attitude (another thing I’m working on).
I stopped blogging and just started reading, but then I was still stressed that I wasn’t reading ENOUGH. And as much as I love blogging, I started to feel I might not come back to it. That is, until I made THIS for dinner tonight:
Some may call it a bowl of grilled veggies topped with grated
cheese FINE AGED GOUDA, and a fried FREAKIN’ PERFECT egg.
I call it my blogging epiphany.
I couldn’t WAIT to share this. It took all of about 0.23867 seconds to post it on Instagram. But then I realized that Instagram isn’t the blog. It’s not my little corner of the interwebs…my home that I have established over the years…planting flours, hanging pictures, and inviting over so many wonderful friends. This is where I know I belong.
This is what I WANT to do.
So yeah, I guess you could say that I’m back! But this time, it’s on MY terms. I know some of you guys are sticklers for predictability, but me? I’ve always been a fly by the seat of my pants gal…you know, without the whole prostitution thing! 😉
From now on, there will be no set days to post…no time constraints…no “obligatory” link ups, hell, there may not even be a common theme to whatever I put up, but you know what? This is my space…so if I wanna paint the shudders chartreuse and affix a purple rooster to the roof, then dammit, I will! And I’m gonna cuss like a sailor while doing it!
But that’s why you guys love me right? And if you don’t, who cares!
…just don’t tell me about it!
Do you struggle to please others?
When was the last time you were completely selfish?
My first day, I went for a walk at the park, made plans for the weekend, and turned down a job offer…and it felt GREAT!