Almond Joy Granola

It’s heeeeeeeeeere!

Almond Joy Granola TitleCan you believe I didn’t like coconut when I was a kid?

I know, right?

Clin-ic-LY…in-SANE 😯

Almond Joy Granola 1

When I was growing up, we would always get together at my great granny’s house for lunch after church on Sundays. After our meal, there were always plenty of desserts to choose from. All the kids (my cute little self included) would dive head-first (Not even joking…seriously, it really should be considered an Olympic sport…makes SO much more sense than the javelin throwing) into Granny’s deep freezer and go straight for the ice cream sandwiches and orange creamsicles. While we kids were busy licking away at our ice cream treats, the adults would most often cut into a big ol’ two layer, covered in white shredded goodness, coconut cake.

Almond Joy Granola 2

I guess I just always saw coconut cake (and therefore anything with coconut) to be a “grown up” dessert.

And well now, you know, since I AM a grown up and all (I think), I’ve finally come to my senses. Still to this day though, I’ve never had an Almond Joy bar. I’m sorry, but when it comes down to it, I’d take cake, and cookies, and brownies. and muffins, and cinnamon rolls, and…ok, so pretty much any baked good (except toaster pastries of course!) over candy ANY DAY!

Almond Joy Granola 4

So while I guess I lose a bit of my credibility when it comes to titling this INGENIOUS recipe creation “Almond Joy”, I’m willing to bet that after one bite, the last thing you’ll be is disappointed. 😀

And before I go any further, I just gotta give a shout out to my girl Jessie for hooking me up with these AMAZING coconut chips in a giveaway I won from her a few months ago. Seriously you guys, if you can get your hands on these, it is SO worth it!

When I die, I want to be BURIED in coconut chips!

Almond Joy Granola

By: Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 18 minutes

Keywords: bake breakfast snack coconut oil coconut oats almonds

Ingredients (3 cups)

  • 1 1/2 cups rolled oats
  • 1/3 cup wheat bran
  • 3 Tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
  • pinch of salt
  • 1/8 cup coconut oil
  • 1/3 cup honey
  • 1 teaspoon xylitol (or granulated sugar)
  • 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
  • 1/3 cup coconut chips
  • 1/2 cup almonds (half whole, half chopped)**I recommend toasting the almonds for about 10 minutes at 300°F for a bolder flavor!

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 300°F.
2. Combine oats, wheat bran, cocoa, and salt in a medium-sized bowl and stir to mix.
3. In a separate bowl, whisk together coconut oil, honey, sugar, and almond extract.
4. Pour wet ingredients over dry ingredients and stir well.
5. Spread into thin layer on a baking sheet.
6. Cook for 8 minutes, stir and allow to cook for 8 more minutes or until crisp.
7. Allow to cool on pan for 10 minutes before stirring in coconut chips and almonds.
8. Store in an airtight container for up to two weeks (if it lasts that long!).

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Are there any foods out there that you hated when you were young but now you love?
I also use to hate brussel sprouts, asparagus, and basically any other green vegetable…except broccoli, I’ve ALWAYS loved broccoli! 😉

If you had to choose a favorite candy bar, what would it be?
I used to sing the praises of Reese’s cups but nowadays, I’d rather have a dark chocolate bar with a little sea salt…and maybe some caramel! 😀

Posted in Breakfast, Snacks | Tagged , , , , | 38 Comments

It’s Not Me, It’s You…

Today I come clean.

I’ve been in a bit of an abusive relationship for a while now. Whenever we’re apart, I can’t help but dream of him, but the moments when we ARE together, are filled with nothing but disappointment and pain…

The Man-friend TextOh yeah, this was a LONG time coming…

* * *

Dear Deceiving, Lying Bast-…Toaster Pastry,

PoptartsI can’t deny the way you make me feel any longer. Monday morning’s incident was the last straw…the motivation that I needed to finally speak up…

I see you running around all day, sporting your new flavors all over town, promising thrill and excitement to the tastebuds. Oh yeah, don’t think I didn’t catch the latest commercial. But you know what? You’re nothing but a poser.

Multigrain, vitamins, balanced-breakfast, MY ASS!

You and I have a long history…elementary school all the way up to college! Honestly, I thought I loved you when I was younger…especially whenever you put on that little strawberry number. You were fun and exciting and covered with sprinkles…I mean, plain ol’ bowls of oatmeal and cereal had nothing on you. Whether it was at the breakfast table or on the go, you always seemed to satisfy me. But that was then and this is now. I’ve grown, my tastes have changed and while I know you’d like to think you’ve “kept up with the times”, I’m gonna tell you right now,

That frosting ain’t hiding NOTHIN’!

I’m done with you. Done. No longer will I perk up when I pass your commemorative shrine in the breakfast aisle. No longer will I sit and dream about how good I think you will be. No, because now I see the truth…you’re just no good for me!

Inside, you’re just a glorified breakfast “treat”. A washed up batch of franken-ingredients. A stale slab of dry pastry dough enveloping a congealed mixture of tummy-ache producing, sugar-high causing, I’m-hungry-again-in-like-three-hours crap!

I hope you have fun living your life of lies. I hope you feel good knowing the false sense of breakfast deliciousness you’re spreading around like a damn disease.

I hope you die a SLOW DEATH at the hands of a defective kitchen appliance.

As for me, I’ll be moving on to bigger, better,
MORE GRATIFYING breakfasts…

Almond Joy SundaeLike an Almond Joy Granola Sundae!

That’s right…ICE CREAM…for BREAKFAST! And I wasn’t even wearing pants! Now put that in your toaster and burn it!

As for everyone else, I hope you have a wonderful Thursday and yes, the recipe for this rebound breakfast will be up first thing in the morning! 😉

Please tell me I’m not the only sucker out there! Are there any foods out there that you need to “break up” with?

Posted in Breakfast | Tagged | 47 Comments

What I ‘Wiched Wednesday

Hey guys!

Or should I say, “What up my dawgs?!” I mean, if I’m gonna keep up with my new
rapper persona, I gotta learn the lingo, right? 😉

As you guys dawgs know, I’m down to the final days before my Florida vacation. So as not to have a fridge full of science experiments when I get back in a week, in an amazing act of willpower forethought, I decided to skip the farmers’ market for the last TWO WEEKS!

Yeah, I know…it was hard.
#twss 😉

So what’s a girl to do with a fridge not-so-full of fruit and veggie remnants, a loaf of bread, a CRAZY amount of cheese (always), and a bag full of fresh herbs?

What I 'Wiched Wednesday

You take a minute to shed a tear for the loss of your Salacious Salads and then start slapping sh-…STUFF between slices of carby goodness, snapping pics along the way! Oh and then you go and vandalize Jenn’s What I Ate Wednesday button with the cutest freakin’ clip art in the WORLD!

Um, I mean…FIRST you take the easy way out and whip up an old childhood favorite…

Peanut Butter Blueberry & Jelly SandwichCrunchy peanut butter, a handful of fresh blueberries, and my new favorite blueberry jam

Then you get a little more adventurous and mix things up a bit…

Peanut Butter Banana Honey & Fig Sandwich

Crunchy peanut butter (hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!), banana, fresh figs, cinnamon, and a drizzle of honey

Wait, wait, wait, my Instagram picture does it more justice…

Peanut Butter Fig & BananaTa-ta-ta tasty with cheese-ay HONEY! 😉

Then, after an enormous cool/rainy/foggy/f*cking depressing front moves in, things start to get warmer…

Tomato Soup with Grilled Cheese & Basil SandwichAmy’s low sodium tomato bisque with a grilled cheese and basil sandwich

Grilled Cheese & Basil SandwichPre-dunk shot

And the toasty cheesy deliciousness didn’t stop there…

Tuna Melt Sandwich & Carrots

Tuna melt with basil and tomato and a side of crunchy carrot sticks

Tuna Melt Sandwich & Beet ChipsTuna melt with basil, tomato, and BALSAMIC GLAZE with a side of crunchy (slightly overcooked) beet chips 😀

But lunch wasn’t the only meal getting some ‘wichy love…

EAT (Egg, Avocado, Tomato) Sandwich

EAT (egg, avocado, tomato)…with a side of yolkporn! 😉

And then, when you’re down to the LAST SLICE OF BREAD, a bit of gourmet flare comes out…

Open-Faced Chicken Sandwich with Bleu Cheese & FigsSalad turned (open-faced) sandwich: Toast, onion slice, chicken, bleu cheese, and figs broiled and topped with walnuts, parsley, and HONNNNNNNNEY!

Died…AND gone…to HEAVEN!

So there ya have it, my life sandwiched between two (or thirteen) slices of bread…peanut butter, tuna, cheese, and all! Hmm, now THAT would be a #strangebutgood combo! 😉

What’s in your favorite sandwich?

What’s the best thing you’ve eaten this week?

Posted in What I Ate Wednesday | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 37 Comments