Thoughts on Self Love

Hey guys!

I hope you’re all having a FANTASTIC week!

It’s been a while since I’ve done a “thoughts” post, but honestly, I just have so much more to add to my Marvelous NOT Modest post that it just made sense! At the end of Monday’s post, I asked you guys to tell me what makes YOU marvelous. Unfortunately,  I only got one response. :( I’m hoping this has more to do with the distraction of all that food porn and not a reflection of how you see yourselves, but regardless, this has been on my mind ALL week.

If I can sum it up in one sentence (and picture) it’s this…

[source]

The SECRET to true HAPPINESS is SELF LOVE.

Last week, my coaching program with Jamie came to an end. As I rattled on and on about the latest goings on in my life, of course I had to tell her all about my Yoplait adventures 😉 but I also shared a few thoughts I’ve had since coming home from my trip…

I ate too much.

I drank too much.

I slept too little!

But for the FIRST time ever, there was NO GUILT!

I had fun at Blend, but I’ll admit, I missed out a lot of the experience because I was so stuck in my head…overanalyzing my thoughts and actions and frankly, just beating myself up, but my time in Minneapolis was the exact OPPOSITE and I know why…

I have FINALLY learned to LOVE myself.

Jamie used to have to remind me to not be so negative all the time, to speak to myself as I would a child, to forgive my failures mistakes setbacks and move on, but thanks to YEARS of being a perfectionist, I really had a hard time making that stick.

My breaking point was when she gave me my last homework assignment. Every day, before getting into the shower, I was to strip down, stand in front of a mirror, look at my WHOLE self and then repeat three special words…

[source]

Well, it took nearly FIVE minutes to get the words out the first time without tears welling in my eyes. THAT my friends, is how broken I still was…how much I hated myself. But the exercise got easier…and easier…and then FINALLY things just started to click!

All of a sudden, setbacks didn’t set ME back as much as they did before. I was taking things in stride. When I would have instances of overeating in the past, I would be totally stumped as to the reasons behind them and just start labeling certain foods as the “enemy”…further affirming my thoughts that I couldn’t trust myself. That of course would lead me to a LOT of negative self-talk and DAYS of bingeing in a way to punish myself. Now I can clearly seen the reasons behind the times I push my limits…a lack of sleep…a bout of frustration…a FUN moment of distraction with friends.

But NOW I don’t dwell on these reasons. I accept them and move on!

Last weekend was definite proof of my progress. All of that indulgenceovereating, AND baking (the old me would have never even baked a cake to begin with because I wouldn’t have trusted myself around it) in the past, would have left the me with a ton of guilt and of course, the downward spiral would ensue, but you know what? I didn’t even give a second thought to most of my choices over those few days. In fact, I was just there, in the moment…and so was the food…and for a change, I actually felt NORMAL!

So let me just serve as an example. The journey to healing your relationship with food has NOTHING to do with food at all…it’s about healing the relationship with YOURSELF. It’s about self-forgiveness. It’s about self-acceptance.

It’s about self-love.
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37 Responses to Thoughts on Self Love

  1. Well I love you and all your marvelousness.
    As for what makes me marvelous…well the list goes on and on. Partially, I love my dirty sense of humor, my competitive streak, my sassy attitude and I also happen to have a way with veggies. Is that better?!

  2. Rosalie says:

    This post is everything I needed to hear right now. I’ve made a lot of progress in the past month in this-respect but today I’ve just been feeling… down on myself. So, again, thank you, Heather for being the most sincere, honest, and genuine bloggers I’ve come across. Your heartfelt discussions of your struggles and amazing strides forward have been such an inspiration for the months I’ve been reading. I stopped reading a lot of blogs when I began realizing how detrimental the “healthy living” illusion so many presented were to my mental well-being, but (obviously) I return to yours every time <3

  3. purelytwins says:

    Amen!!! it is all about self-love, once we figured that out a few years ago the better relationship with food has been. now we are able to look at food as the enemy but instead of nourishment to our bodies :) having self-love is so important!
    xoxo

  4. Preach it sister! This can relate back to problems in anything! In a career or relationships…usually it comes back to our own self-esteem. I am think this is something we deal with our whole life and have to KEEP reminding ourselves of.

    So happy your coaching program went well! I hope this will affect all aspects of your life positively! <3 <3

  5. Robyn :) says:

    I am marvelous because I like to try new things even of they are hard or sometimes push me out of my comfort zone :)

  6. This makes me happy Heather! It’s great that you’ve come so far on your journey towards self-love. You are amazing, and I’m glad you realize that! Self-love is something that I’m constantly reminding myself of – hence the tattoo that I got a few years ago. The most important thing in the world!

  7. Heather… you were SO amazing to work with and I feel honored to have been able to be your coach. This post really sums up some of the biggest shifts that you’ve made and I know that the self love you gained is real and will hopefully continue to shine through to all areas of your life. Love you lady! xo.

  8. kolya says:

    I so admire you for getting to this point and just plain taking the steps (hard ones I might add!) to do so.

    I hope to be able to do this some day though at this point I can’t imagine it.

    Now I have even more reason to say your blog is my favorite one (: Not just saying that…it really is and has been for quite some time…thanks!

  9. yes. lots of heather love!!!!!!! =)

  10. Tara says:

    As a fellow perfectionist, I can most definitely relate to what you’re discussing here. I’ve often struggled with being my own harshest critic, when we should all be our own biggest cheerleaders. I’m so glad that you’ve been making progress on your journey! The reason you are one of my most favoritest bloggers is because I feel like there is a real person behind this blog, with an actual life that you are honest and brave enough to share with all of us.

    Keep on keepin’ on 😉

    PS- As far as my marvelousness, I am adventurous and don’t take crap from anybody!

  11. Wow sweetheart. Look at that! You might be sad your coaching with Jamie had to come to an end, BUT look – it seemed like you found the answer. At the perfect timing, too!

    I think it’s so important to get OUT of your head and just live, just be, just LOVE YOURSELF JUST as you said!

    I love you for you and thanks for this beautiful post!

  12. So proud of you!!! I am still shocked everytime I read how you were struggling. Like seeing just now that you wouldn’t have made that cake. I would have never guessed! From the outside, I always saw you as a sassy, confident GORGEOUS person.

    Let’s have a mini Blend re-do. Feel free to make that cake. 😉

  13. Isn’t it funny how it’s so easy to love OTHER people but its hard to see the awesomeness in yourself? The point is you’re awesome and I’m glad you’re realizing it 😉 You’re amazing, Heather!

  14. I completely understand where you’re coming from. This is a great post & I think you’re right – it’s all about self-love. I really need to work on that. Thanks for the eye-opener, you’re marvelous!! :)

  15. Congrats Heather on your journey to self-love and acceptance. I am honestly so happy for you 😉 Seeing posts like this makes me cry happy tears. You are so right, loving yourself and forgiving yourself is the key to happiness. This topic was one of my first posts and it’s a topic very near and dear to my heart. You can read my post here: http://sunnysideupsmile.com/2013/06/12/self-love-and-better-banana-bread-recipe/
    I’m looking forward to hearing more about this :) Happy Friday!

  16. Well written post, Heather. Its great to acknowledge all the progress you made, and inspire others. Self love is a very difficult thing to put into practice, but over time, you start to embrace it.

  17. Oh Heather, I am SO proud of you!

    Self love is SO important. We all have what we feel are our floors and we all nit-pick at ourself at times – but we need to treat ourselves the way we’d treat our best friend. When they’re down, you pick them up – when they’re feeling ugly, you tell them the things you love about them, when they’re in need, you help. If we don’t look after ourselves, we can’t look after anyone!

  18. I don’t even know where to start telling you how PROUD I am of you!! You rock girl!! Isn’t it amazing how wonderful it feels to be NORMAL? I can so relate on your whole journey amd how hard it is to really fall in love with oneself. Though it is SO important to accept and admire our little self to make progress.

  19. I want to cry I am so happy for you. [I am just not the type of person who would actually cry…] There isn’t enough room in this comment box for me to say how proud I am to have watched you on this journey…and while I know it’ not over–mine isn’t either–I am so impressed by your honesty, your willingness to challenge yourself, and the incredible insight you’ve made. You are an inspiration. I love you, too. 😉

  20. Amazing post Heather!!! I am so happy for you and proud of you for how far you’ve come. And you’re such an inspiration to me because I’ve been struggling with the issue of self love. Not in relation to food/body image, but in other aspects like self confidence and relationships. So thank you for sharing this post today! :)

  21. calee says:

    I could not do that exercise. I just think I’d feel silly. But I know that I’ve been that broken before — and not so long ago —  that I needed just that. You and I have both had a pretty breakthrough year. Pat yourself on the back, no wait, give yourself a big freaking hug.

  22. Love this!! i too went through that phase where i just took everything so seriously and could not accept my imperfections. luckily, that has changed drastically over the last couple years. loving yourself truly is the key to happiness and it opens a WORLD of possibilities and opportunities.

  23. Julie says:

    Wow Heather! This is exactly what I’ve been doing too. I tried to be “perfect” in my life and wasn’t quite happy. This summer has been a summer of little sleep (in an effort to go out), eating out (good food), and drinking… and I haven’t felt guilty about it! Thank you for this post!

  24. For the first time in forever I don’t know how to start a comment. Okay, let’s just get to the point straightaway: You’re amazing and I’m so very happy for you! Lots of uncoordinated jazz hands and dancing around happening right here. I’m so inspired by your journey and hope to follow your suit.
    “Healing your relationship with food has NOTHING to do with food at all” <- This! Even though I'm by far not at the healthy mindset and self-love you found deep within I know it's not about food. Never was. Never will be. Food is just the symptom on the surface, covering the true problems lying underneath.
    Sending you the biggest hug ever! Hope we can chat again soon! xoxo

  25. Lindsay says:

    well said!! it is all about YOU, not food. Love WHERE you are, who you are! Let’s do Blend again and we can self love all the way, k? <3

  26. I am so glad you have gotten to that point of acceptance it is such an inspiration to see and something that I think I am still working on and working through myself at the moment!

    You are so awesome and I am glad you are believing it too! 😀

  27. Dani says:

    Hey Heather!

    Loving the self love! Something we should all do more!

    I know this is a random place to post this, but I couldn’t seem to find your email, so thought I’d let you know here. I am email subscribed to your posts, and lately with the emails, there are random spam paragraphs in the mix in between your post (Viagra advertising, lol) and I thought I’d let you know you’re probably being spammed.

    Hope you get it fixed!

    Thanks for adding wonderfulness to my life.

    😀

  28. This was a perfect summation. I love that it all clicked for you and that you can truly have peace now. So happy for you girl!! Love!!

  29. Marie-Sophie says:

    Loved Loved reading this, Heather! I also find that people often think that these kinds of changes happen overnight and they give up on themselves too soon. It takes time and some effort but is so SO worth it! Another chocolate hug from Germany

  30. YOU are amazing!! I am so happy for you that you have come to this point!!! I am still working on it but so much better with my I am Enough campaign! :)

  31. I love this! You made me tear up a bit girl! It’s all about loving and honoring your body right? Why is that so much easier said than done?? I’m so proud of you girl!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      It really REALLY is!! The difference it has made in my life has been mind blowing at times! And it’s all stuff I’ve been told for YEARS…guess I just had to live it on my own time before it really sunk in!

  32. Thank you for such a wonderful post! It is truly amazing, the impact our relationship with ourselves has on other areas of our lives and how nurturing that relationship can heal so much .

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Aaaaaaaa-MEN! And to think, when I began this journey, I thought it was only about the food…I had no idea how much deeper it was! It’s definitely an on-going process of healing, but I can honestly say that I’m getting closer and closer every day to finding (and loving) the real me!

  33. *Andrea* says:

    so beautiful! thanks for sharing! i’m trying to get to this point too :)xoxo

  34. Pingback: Friday Faves #2 | The Girl In The Orange

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