Thoughts on the F-Word

Today marks the halfway point in the IE Challenge.

 My mind is reeling.

I’ve been trying for DAYS to get my thoughts together so they all make sense, but it’s not really working. I’ve written stuff out. I’ve crumbled stuff up. I’m not really sure what to do here.

I feel like…I feel like saying…

Stream of consciousness starts…NOW!

Up until last week, I felt like I was making HUGE strides in my journey with intuitive eating. Then I had a “slip.” I know I shouldn’t refer to it as a “slip” because that infers that I made a mistake…which I didn’t. It’s all part of the learning process.
And besides, there’s no room in life for guilt, RIGHT?

I’ve always been a perfectionist. I’ve always had the mindset that if I’m going to do something, I’m going to be damn good at it. That being said, I am also a quitter. I’m not ashamed to admit it…it’s true.

If I suck, I quit. End of story.

But I can’t quit this (much like lonesome cowboys can’t quit each other). This is so much more than just something new to “try on”. I know this is for me. I know that once I’m over the hard parts, my life will be better for having made this decision. I feel it.

I can’t WON’T give up.

Jamie told me the other day that I’m being too hard on myself. She said I need to learn to treat myself like a little girl. Take notice of things I’m not happy with in a non-judgmental manner, speak kindly to myself and move on.

That hit me hard.

I would never in a MILLION years use such hurtful words with a child as I have with myself. You wouldn’t berate a toddler for falling after just learning to walk would you?

Oh, yeah…that was a good one, wasn’t it?
*pats self on back* 😉

So let me take you through the thought process of my last “slip” THING that happened…remember that fruity fro-yo from festerday (sorry, alliteration relapse)?

Fro-yo

Yeah, well, I didn’t really want it. I was SO full after my meal, but I had been the one to suggest dessert after dinner. I didn’t want to look silly in front of my friends. Plus, I love fro-yo and I don’t get it as often as I would like, so I decided to just get a little bit. And I ate it all. It wasn’t even that good…tasted too sweet. Probably because I was so damn FULL!

I felt miserable, and for the rest of the night, I beat myself up over it.

Beat myself UP over a cup of unicorn entrails FROZEN YOGURT!!

Who does that??

I was disappointed in myself. Disappointed that I didn’t just go with my gut (pun not intended, but still welcome) and say “no thank you”. Oh and did I mention that I forgot to take my Lactaid beforehand? Yeah, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was premeditated self-sabotage…like, “Oh yeah, I’ll show her!”

And for another level of crazy, my stomach is now talking to me! 😯

But you know what? Even IF your lactose-challenged/talking tummy swells up like a balloon and makes you appear six months pregnant, one night of overeating isn’t going to make you fat. Hell, TWO nights in a row won’t make you fat…because I’m not gonna lie, that wedding dinner? That was a full-fledged, night of overindulgence.

BUT you know what WHAT?

I was ok with that. Because I realized at THAT moment that I was overeating. I told myself that it was ok to eat past my full point, but I stayed in tune with my body and knew when to stop before I overdid it. Unfortunately, on Sunday night, I was too zeroed in on oversized sprinkles in the form of cereal to see that! 😉

And besides, I didn’t overeat ALL weekend which is something I should be AM proud of myself for. In the past, I would have seen one instance of overeating as a chance to just…to just say…well…

“Fuck it!”

And then would proceed to gorge myself all weekend, telling myself that come Monday morning, I would be “better”! But that’s not how it is now. I have STILL made progress in that aspect. I actually was VERY mindful for most of my meals and I came home with a LOT of leftovers that I’ve been enjoying all week!

LeftoversAnd that is the SAME wrap in TWO separate pictures…leftover leftovers!

I’ve actually surprised myself by not being able to finish most of the meals I’ve prepared over the last few days. So you see Heather everybody HEATHER,
the body DOES know how to balance itself out!

And because I like to end my posts on a light-hearted note, tell me, what are your FIVE favorite F-words?

Fro-yo, Filament (you have to admit it’s FUN to say), Fluffaaaaaay, Fantastical,
and um…Fotography?! 😉

 

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69 Responses to Thoughts on the F-Word

  1. Jessie says:

    Heather my dear, I am going to describe you with one of my favorite F words.. FABULOUS! Yes, you may of had a “slip”..(I dont like that word, so let’s just say a “fuck” since were all about F words today), but it happens.. you noticed the problem & now you are working through it. Good for you my love, and way to fabulous and FANTASTIC! :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Awww, Jessie!!! Thank you so much!! And yes, I totally agree with your terminology…from now on there will be no slipping, only fucking…uh, wait a minute! 😉 Lol

  2. Oh Hunn, you speak to my heart!!! I had times when I did overeat on every meal and all ended in a binge, because I thought…..FUCK IT. And it’s not worth it! A ‘slip’ is NOT a reason to stop and giving up, it is only to learn out of it and realize, what works for you and what doesn’t. And YES, nothing will change about your body just because you had a bowl of FroYo. Our bodies forgive us so much.
    And here we are: Forgiveness, Friday (it’s my day off :-)), Favorite, Fantastic and Fluffy!! Happy Weekend Sweetheart!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      “…it is only to learn out of it and realize, what works for you and what doesn’t.” <- YESSSS! So true! I'm so glad to know others can relate to this...it can be a bit embarrassing to admit to our "failures" but you're right, all that matters is that we LEARN from it and move on! I hope you had a wonderful weekend m'dear! Love you to the moon! xoxo

  3. Don’t be so hard on yourself (says the woman who is just as hard on herself), you are doing so good and if it was such an easy skill to learn you would have learned it years ago. With anything worth doing and worth doing properly there are going to be set backs or ‘learning experiences’ that just make you learn for next time. At the end of the day it will be so much more worth it when you feel like your completely get it if you had to get through some harder stuff to get there. Hope I am making sense?!?

    In a nutshell you are doing good, keep up the great work of being inspiring! :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Thank you Jan! It’s so much easier to tell others not to be hard on themselves versus heeding our own advice, isn’t it? Why do we have to be our own worst critics? But you are totally right…anything worth doing/having isn’t going to be easy. I’m trying to do my best to focus on the future and picture myself looking back on all of this and just laughing at myself for worrying so much!

  4. I think you are spot-on with all of this as always. Overeating really is a part of everyday normal life. Sure, it’s not ideal, but it happens to everyone at some point or another. The difference is that some take it as a cue to punish themselves and continue overeating, and some just move on resuming normality. I’m happy to say dear Heather that you are in that last FANTASTIC, FABULOUS, FEROCIOUS, FREAKING-AWESOME, FREE-THINKING group now!!! :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Awww, thank you Madison!!! It really feels good to know that I AM making progress here…and it feels even better knowing I have so much support from you guys! It definitely motivates me to focus on the future! Thank you SO much!!

  5. You’re doing GREAT! Don’t beat yourself up over the slip ups. You’re doing so awesome :) I’m loving these posts, they are SO encouraging. Love you, girl! Hang in there :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Thanks Liz! I’m so glad to hear these posts have been helpful! I’m trying my best to stay positive about things (I mean, face it, no one wants a Negative Nancy) but at the same time, I feel so overly frustrated at times that I just have to get my thoughts out! Thank you so much for the support, girlie! I seriously couldn’t keep this up without you guys!

      Love you too! xoxo

  6. I love you and your alliteration skills. You ARE being too hard on yourself. Do yo’ thang. You’ll get used to it… plus, we ALL overeat at times. It happens. It just shouldn’t happen every day. 😉

    Five F words: Fuck, Fucktard, Fierce, Fudge, Fart (that’s right… I’m a 10 year old boy).

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Haha! Girl, you never fail to make me laugh! I was wondering who would be the first to go with “fart”! Lol

      And seriously, thanks for the support. After having some time to think about things, I see that I was being way to hard on myself…but at the same time, I think I needed that to motivate me to keep going…

  7. Amanda says:

    Bahahaha. Unicorn entrails. I’m dying. Now I want to make something with rainbow sprinkles and name them Unicorn Entrail fill-in-the-blank. It’s so naughty and happy all at the same time.

    Fucktard is a good word, btw. Everyone is secretly thinking like a 10 year old boy…they just try to hide it. Don’t hide it! Let that flag fly 😛

  8. Lee says:

    While I think it’s definitely possible to eat intuitively, I think that sometimes everyone just overeats or eats something because they simply want it, not because they’re hungry or are craving certain nutrients. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

    I like Laura’s f-words above. Though I’m not sure if I’ve ever said fucktard.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      That’s SO true, Lee! I was actually reminded of that the other day when I was reading more of the IE Book…no one can be expected to eat intuitively 100% of the time…if they were, it would just be like any other diet. We have to take into consideration that we also need food in other ways besides for physical need. Jamie (the IE coach) has said that it’s more of an 80/20 approach…80% of the time you honor your biological hunger and 20% of the time you embrace the need to feed your physical desire/emotional hunger.

  9. I love how you said, “I know this is for me.”

    I FEEL THE SAME SWEETIE! As you know, I’ve definitely doubted this IE process. Should I continue? Should I just take the easy way out and go back to sticking to a meal plan? Well, NO because a meal plan won’t make me happy. I know IE is for me, too, so I’m here on this journey with you, love <3

    I like what Jamie said about treating yourself like a child. I actually had to do this the first time I battled an ED. I had to find a picture of myself when I was young and keep it at my side. Every time I thought of saying something nasty to myself or obeying a direction given to me from my ED, I would pull this picture out and remind myself not to harm the "little me", so what Jamie said to you really hits home for me…

    So when you asked who beats themself up over a cup of fro yo? And you said no one!? GIRL SO MANY PEOPLE BEAT THEMSELVES UP! Even for things not even comparable to fro yo! (ie. peanut butter! think of how many people eat peanut butter in crazy amounts – they sure beat themselves up for that babe!) You're not alone. You're just to hard on yourself like you said <3

    I'm so happy for YOU and proud of YOU for not throwing it all away and being like "Monday I'll restart" or something like that – that's amazing babe! 😀

    You should be very very proud of yourself for writing this post AND all of the progress you're making because it's very apparent to me 😀

    LOVE U LIKE A SIS!

  10. Flippant, frazzled, flabbergasted, furball, fantabulous!

    LOVE this. Thank you. You are doing amazingly. I have ups and downs, too, and just focusing on where you HAVE improved can do wonders when you have a slip-up. Saying “F it, it’s OK that that happened. And now, moving on…” is something I’ve had to work on not only with food, but with LIFE. Anxiety brings us down, and we have to keep moving forward.

    Remember, I’m only a text or an e-mail (or a phone call) away!!!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh yeah, I’m right there with ya…funny, I never realized just how much of my LIFE would be changed by refocussing and working on my relationship with FOOD! This process has really opened my eyes to things I never even realized before…emotions that I never dealt with…it’s definitely been a bit scary.

      Thanks for always being there for me, girlie! I’m not sure who’s turn it is to email, but I feel the need to start a new one now! 😉

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  12. I love the part where you mentioned talking to yourself like a child. That’s actually one of the things that really helped me when I was recovering from my ED – it was to think of my younger self and ask myself if I’d ever deny that little girl food, or force her to starve. The answer? Hell no! So why was I doing it to myself? …. Exactly. We ARE far too hard on ourselves. I’m pretty sure that slip ups are a normal part of everyday life – everyone overeats from time to time for a variety of different reasons, but it’s not a good idea to hone in on those isolated incidents and ignore all of the other positive ones. You’re doing fabulously, and don’t let a bump or two try and convince you otherwise <3

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      “…but it’s not a good idea to hone in on those isolated incidents and ignore all of the other positive ones.” <- Omg, YES!! Thank you, Amanda! I really needed that! And thank you for all your constant support and empathy! Love you sooooo much!! xoxo

  13. I know you blog so it’s a little different but one thing to notice (and I was/am guilty of this) is how much attention you’re giving food and what you’re eating and how much. It doesn’t deserve it. It’s just food. And you should be able to just eat. Everyone over eats once in awhile, but like you said you won’t gain weight over night. And that fro yo? You were out with friends having a good time, I guarantee the whole upset stomach was more mental than anything because you were so aware of it.

    Please don’t look at these situations as messing up. You’re learning how to listen to your body and intuitive eating isn’t only about eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full it’s letting youself eat what you REALLY want and be ok with that. Because again food choices don’t deserve that much attention. Its hard to achieve that in the “healthy” food blog world because everyone is so quick to judge,THAT is what you say fuck it to, is all the judgement and what others may or may not think because that is what doesn’t matter.

    I wrote you a book. That’s how much I love you. ❤

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      You DO love me and I love you tooooooooo!! 😀

      You are so right…being a part of the blogging community can overemphasize food in a BIG way. I mean, I love food…I love making it…I love talking about it…I love taking pictures of it 😉 but I KNOW that it’s not ALL there is to life! Still, thanks for the reminder, love!

      Xoxox

  14. purelytwins says:

    Jamie gave you some wise words. We try not to be to hard on ourselves either, but it can be hard.
    we can’t think of 5 F words – but do like flabbergasted for some reason haha

  15. Eric says:

    F*%#
    Freakin’
    F’real(cookies n cream omg!)
    Fatty(as in a fatty tip, as in awesome)
    aaaaand Fart, because that’s a really funny word!

  16. Madi says:

    I love a blogger who knows how to wield the almighty F-bomb! Also, word on the not finishing every meal thing! Once I tell myself “slow down, and maybe if you get full you can have this ish again as leftovers!” I immediately evaluate how I’m feeling. It just makes sense, if something tastes delicious, make it last longer…DUHHH why didn’t I think of that before! as always loved reading this, girl! You da BOMB (not the f-bomb, hat is 😉

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Haha, thanks girlie! Hmm, you’re kinda making me feel like a superstar right now! *dusts off shoulders* 😉

      And I can completely relate…I can’t tell you how many times I’ve powered through a meal that I was like, “ohhh this is effin’ delicious” but then when it was gone 5 minutes later, I couldn’t even remember the taste! There is MUCH to be said about slowing down and actually SAVORING a meal!

  17. Thinking of yourself or at least the way you talk to yourself like you’re talking to a child (or really ANYONE else) is huge! It’s so easy to talk down to ourselves or talk bad about ourselves but would you talk so poorly to a friend? Probably not.

    I was proud of myself yesterday. It was my birthday so I was planning to indulge a bit (cupcake + ice cream) but since I worked until after 7, my dinner wasn’t until nearly 7:45 and I knew my parents wouldn’t want to wait until 9 or so for cake. So I made my dinner smaller, skipped the bread (besides I was having cake!) and listened to how my body was feeling. It was a beautiful moment. :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Awww, yay!! Sounds perfect! Well, except for the whole working on your birthday deal…isn’t that like against the law in some countries? If not, it SHOULD BE! 😉

  18. Oh! And I got on such a rant, I forgot my favorite F word! I’m from Chicago and we seem to love to say FABULOUS! (or at least that’s what my non-chicago friends seem to think). 😉

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Haha! Well, maybe I should move to Chicago, because that is definitely one of my favorite words too! 😉

  19. Jamie’s definitely right – you are being too hard on yourself! I abide by the ‘little girl’ rule myself…whenever I’m feeling too harsh on myself, I look back on one of my favourite pictures of me as a girl – it’s my fourth birthday, and I’m blowing out the candles on my gorgeous Beauty and the Beast cake. I look so damn happy and cute in that picture – would I ever tell her half the things I used to berate myself with? Of course not! I think that learning IE is just that – a learning process. We all make mistakes and overeat sometimes, and it’s not a big deal. You’re still learning, and you’ll get back on track. Part of life is overeating froyo sometimes!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      So true…it’s all part of the learning process…part of LIFE!! The point is to take it all in stride and move on…not to dwell on the little things that get me down! Thanks for the reminder girlie!

      And seriously, I would have KILLED for a Beauty and the Beast cake when I was little!! Belle was always my favorite Disney princess since I was always such a bookworm! 😉

  20. I love that advice of talking to yourself like you would a child that is learning. That really struck a chord with me.

    Four (I couldn’t think of 5) Favorite f-words: fro-yo, fantastic, family, and fur-baby. :)

  21. You’re doing something really Freaking Fantastic, and you should be so proud of yourself. I know what you mean about “slipping up” though. If I want pizza, and I eat it. I am happy. However, if I don’t really like the XYZ in front of me but I eat it all anyway, I am muuuuch more likely to beat myself up over it. (Obviously I’m not justifying any of this… miserly loves company is all. haha)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh girl, no…I completely agree! One of the things I’ve had the hardest time with throughout this process is accepting the fact that every meal is not going to be the best BUT if I can do something to change that I most definitely WILL…life is far too short to settle for bad food! I got some worse than mediocre food from the Whole Food’s hot bar yesterday. Normally, I would have just sucked it up and eaten it anyway, but I was so disappointed (I mean, my “roasted” vegetables were practically dripping with grease!) so I went to the customer service desk and voiced my concerns. They ended up giving me a FULL refund! Got my money back and didn’t have to sit for hours with a miserable tummy! Win win! 😉

  22. I definitely understand your need to do something right or quit, I tend to do that a lot too! I’ve learned to be a lot nicer to myself over the past year, and appreciate my ups and downs and all the lessons that I learn from them. I’ve had plenty of “set backs” since we started the challenge, but I am so much more aware than I was 1.5 weeks ago!

    Random F words I thought of:
    Fantastic, Fragrance, Fartfanugan (??), Friendly, Fixation.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh that is SO good to hear, Katie! I was just scrolling through the Facebook page today thinking about how so many of us have changed in such a short time…it’s awesome to see everyone’s posts morphing into kinder, gentler, and self-accepting words! :)

      “farfegnugen”…GOOD ONE! 😉

  23. LOVE you! :)

    Let’s see here… fantastical, froyo, fab, friggin, filbert :)

  24. This made me tear up as it smacked my disordered eating thoughts in the face. I have been keeping them on mute for a while now, but every now and then they creep up. I dunno what to say really other than your post made me smile, think and promise to continue working on healthy self. Thank you. <3

    Fuck
    Faaaaaaaaaabuuuuuulous!
    Fart
    Freak
    Familia

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh honey! You’re WELCOME!! I may not have everything anything figured out right now, but I REALLY do hope that these posts help others see that they are not alone in their thoughts and there is nothing out there saying thay have to be stuck with them! It’s definitely not easy to give up years of thinking a certain (slash disordered) way, but if it means having a more fulfilling life in the end, it’s totally worth the ups and downs it takes to get there! :)

  25. Have you heard of the “Fuck it Diet.” http://thefuckitdiet.com/

    <3 :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      OMG, this is GREAT!! Ahhhh! I just read the “The ‘Healthy Version’ of Intuitive Eating” post…LOVE IT!! Thank you SO much for the link, girlie!! xoxo

  26. Fruity Pebbles on froyo?? That pretty much sounds amazing!!

  27. Emily says:

    Preach, woman. Seriously.
    I can completely relate to you on being a perfectionist and refusing to fail. In most aspects of my life I’d rather quit because if I don’t keep trying, I can’t keep failing…right? But, that’s definitely not the healthiest way to live.
    When it comes to this journey, you just have to remember that it’s called an Intuitive Eating CHALLENGE for a reason. It’s not always going to be easy and you’re not always going to be perfect but THAT’S OKAY. Life is full of moments like that and we just have to embrace them and learn from them. Which is exactly what you did this weekend! So don’t stop. You’re inspiring more people than you’ll ever know by sharing your journey. (:

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      “…because if I don’t keep trying, I can’t keep failing…right?” <- Exactly my frame of mind! And while acceptable when I quit the middle school band, like you said, it's not the healthiest way to go about life! Thank you so much, Emily, for the words of encouragement! I definitely feel more motivated to continue this journey and ready to face the next "challenge" with grace! 😀

  28. Hugs to you, lovely lady! Oh if only our brains, stomachs and bodies just “knew”.

    Five favourite f words? Fabulous, flourish, flutter, fancy and fashionista! 😛

  29. Five favorite f words: flibbertigibbet, fajita, flog, flack, and fop. 😉 All real words, marvelously enough!
    I really wish I had been blogging during my ED so I could chronicle things like this…it’s happened to me too; please don’t beat yourself up over a little slip-up-that-wasn’t-even-really-a-slip-up!! (Nowadays I never pass up froyo even if I’m full to bursting…) Looking through my journal over the past few years, one incident like this stood out to me, which I referred to as “the Almond Incident”…in which I accidentally consumed 1 and 1/3 ounces of almonds for a snack instead of my “allotted” 1 ounce. … (Sigh) Unthinkable, right? :/ Because I was so obsessed with my food intake at that time, I was majorly stressed and guilty for several days afterward (I NEVER strayed from “The Plan”!), and alternately binged/starved in a desperate cycle to make myself feel better for it… Gaah that was bad. Now looking back it seems like the absolute silliest thing I ever did, but of course it was real to me and extremely vexing when it actually happened…
    I think your ‘food perspective’ starts to shift slowly as you make your way farther away from obsessive food “rationing”. All I know is that if you stick with this journey soon everything will come naturally and that you’ll eventually be able to eat like a “regular person”…well, a regular person with an affinity for pancakes and broccoli. 😉 At least you won’t have to worry/stress/overthink every single bite that goes into your mouth…it’s so freeing! :) Keep up the marvelously inspirational awesomeness that is your blog!! I believe in you!

    P.S. I’m going to have a look into that intuitive eating “program” as well; mayhap it will help me vanquish the FINAL little ED tendrils left in my eating habits! I love the feeling when I am 100% sure I am giving my body what it needs in terms of nutrients and taste! :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh my gosh, do NOT apologize at all for this!! I loved each and every word of this comment! It just warms my heart that you would take the time to share not only your thoughts and empathy for my situation, but also a personal story of your own! I can only imagine the journey you faced recovering from your ED, but it makes me so incredibly happy to feel the strength and courage coming from your words! I seriously canNOT WAIT to be on the other side and eating like “regular person”…yeah, as long as I get to keep my pancakes and broccoli…or perhaps BROCCOLI PANCAKES? Whoa! 😉 Thank you so so much for your support and encouragement, girlie! And seriously, I can’t say enough about this program…the support and community feel of the Facebook group alone has made it so extremely helpful! It’s great to be able to just vent about things with people who are going through the exact same thing as you! <3

      And ps, I LOVE your f-words....flibbertigibbet! Ha! Now I'm going to be singing songs from the Sound of Music for the rest of the night! 😉

  30. ^Acch sorry for the super long comment as well 😛 I didn’t realize just how lengthy it was ’till I posted it!

  31. Cait's Plate says:

    I second (and third and fourth and fifth…) a lot of what everyone else has said.

    I can SO relate to a lot of what you said in this post (especially the ‘if i suck at something, i quit’ and the perfectionism).

    Maybe rather than thinking about eating intuitively or listening to your body as a ‘challenge’ – just think ‘I’m going to eat whatever I want.’ Even though it’s the same concept, I think positioning it in a way where you can’t ‘fail’ might make a big difference. Sometimes in the brains of perfectionists I think anything placed in front of you as a ‘challenge’ where there is an opportunity to say ‘i’m failing,’ or ‘I’m not being the best,’ can be tricky. And rather than being upset with yourself when you sometimes overindulge (since everyone does it!), just focus on the positive aspects (like you said!) like that fact that it didn’t lead to more overeating. Be proud of yourself just for the very simple act of recognizing that you were full and knowing that next time you’re in the same situation, you’ll better tune into what your body is telling you.

    Remember that it’s a journey and any ‘set backs’ you face are just lessons learned to help you in the whole process :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      “Even though it’s the same concept, I think positioning it in a way where you can’t ‘fail’ might make a big difference.” <- WOW! Funny how much "stating the obvious" can really strike a chord sometimes! I have to say, I never thought about this until now, but yes...I can totally see how I've been using this "challenge" as a way to compare myself to a picture of perfection in my head! I've been struggling and having doubts along the way, but never stopped to realize where exactly the thoughts and doubts were originating! Thank you SO much, Cait!!! I will DEFINITELY be reminding myself of this in the future WHEN (because I know it will happen again) I feel like I've had another "slip up"! 😀

  32. The Fin learning process! :) Heather, writing this out was perfect so you can read thru & learn & understand that it all will be OK. I am so happy that you are working thru all this & yes, there will be hard times again. There will be times when you do things that piss yourself off & yo know what, it is all OK.. juts get back on the path & keep on trucking! :) This is life & man, these lessons will be here for years to come – different ones but what you are learning now you can apply to all situations – just keep on moving forward & trying your best!

    My hubby calls me a potty mouth so you can guess what my first word is – Fuckit – yes it is my own word. :) the frigginA – say that all the time, fun, forward, fine… heck Idon’t know but the first two for sure! :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Thank you SO much, Jody! I really appreciate your perspective on my “thinking out loud” sort of posts…you always seem to have a way of putting things so that my troubles seem that much smaller. I’ve been around long enough to realize that no matter what, any struggle that we are CURRENTLY facing always seems like the biggest, most horrible thing ever…UNTIL a few years later when we can finally see just how big a deal it WASN’T! It’s like looking back to some of my old high school drama…”omg, so-in-so is never going to ask me out!!” Haha! 😉 But seriously, thank you! Your comments mean SO much to me!!

      PS, I gotta say…I’m kinda loving the fact that now I know your mouth is just as dirty as mine! Lol

  33. Love, love, love! Thanks to you, Sarah, and Meg I have been doing so much better about eating intuitively. I love how you talked about treating yourself like you would a child. A friend of mine said to treat yourself like you would your best friend. I know I say things to myself that I never would a child or my best friend. I would beat people up for saying the kinds of things I say to myself… or at least want to. 😉
    We all beat ourselves up at one point or another, but it is the progress that you are making that counts!! And you are doing AWESOME! xoxo

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Aww, thank you sweetie!! And it makes me SO happy to hear that we’re “rubbing off on you”! 😉

      Love you!! xoxox

  34. Flippant. Flirtatious. Fleeting. Fairies. Fanciful. You thought I was going to say that other F word, didn’t you?!
    I’m going to come right out and say this, “Shit happens.” People over eat all the time. I did it today at lunch. Just don’t make a habit out of it, and you’ll be fine.
    I also want you to start talking back to that negative voice in your head. Maybe use some F words on that F@cker. Kinda the opposite of the whole child angle, but effective nonetheless.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      You’re so right! A little “tough love” approach at times probably would hurt! I guess I just got extra down on myself because I knew that I had already largely overeaten the day before (even though I accepted it at the time) and then was just caught off-guard with my “accidental” overeating with the froyo…now that I’ve had time to think about things, besides the fact that I felt like an alien was going to pop out of my stomach (damn, lactose), I realize that I overreacted and just needlessly berated myself. Lesson learned!

      PS, I think you picked the BEST f-words! Flirtatious…seriously, can you say that without smiling? It makes your mouth move in all sorts of fun ways! That’s what HE said?! 😯 Lol

  35. Calee says:

    been there, done that. i have found myself saving things for later or taking things to go more often than not lately. i think you have to let go of what other people might think of you too (so if you thought your friends would think you looked silly for suggesting dessert, then not getting any — ignore ’em, or get some to go).

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh my gosh, I can’t even tell you the last restaurant I went to where I DIDN’T leave with a to-go box…I seriously brought home enough last weekend to feed myself for the WEEK! Haha! And yes, lesson definitely learned here…who cares what people THINK…how about how I FEEL? Sometimes it’s good to be a little self-centered…I need to embrace my inner diva more often! 😉

  36. I’ve been wondering what exactly this whole “intuitive eating” this I’ve been seeing. So I looked it up. Thank you Wikipedia. I guess that’s how I eat anyway. I counted calories last year and it got really depressing me for me so I had to stop. Now I just eat every couple hrs. healthy choices and the occasional indulgence (obviously) I’m not called sweat the sweet stuff for nothing! I thought about counting macros just to help me make sure my muscles grow but that’s just back to counting again. So no thanks! You gotta find what works for you right? It’s all about balance and I’m good with that! :) Now onto my favorite F words…Food, Fitness, Funny, Flourish, & Fashion!

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