Confessions of an Intuitive Eater

So, I realized something…

Yesterday marked the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of my knee surgery…but ALSO the first day that Iย finally let go of calorie counting (and the unrelenting hold it had on my life) and starting my journey toward finding my long-lost intuitive eater. It wasn’t until a few weeks later that I actually went public with it on the blog, but I’m so glad that I did…because even though part of me is amazed that this much time has already passed, the other part knows that there were more than a few moments when I thought of giving up completely. And I’m thankful to have a way to look back on those times whenever times get tough.

Today, I’m not only closer to the person I was years ago…before I ever flipped that first package over in the middle of the grocery store…before I started “researching” (read: obsessing over) ingredients and macros and micros and…before I started experiencing anxiety, guilt, and remorse for eating certain foods. While I do still look at labels from time to time these days, I only do so because I feel it’s important to know what sort of things I’m putting into my body on a regular basis, but thankfully, I no longer have illogical fears and feelings of guilt associated with any random occasion “mystery” foods.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I’ve changed recently and I started noting some differences – some things the old me would have DIED before she let happen. Please, allow me to confess my “sins”…

1. I dined at a chain (OMG) restaurant and failed to check the menu online for the lowest calorie/fat/sodium item I could order before going in.

Salmon, Broccoli, & Sweet Potato Fries

2. I ordered sweet potato fries…as in FRIED POTATOES…as in they used a mother ‘effin DEEP FRYER…with oil of UNKNOWN ORIGIN!! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

Along with the buttered roll I had BEFORE my meal, I paired those greasy and deliciously crunchy fries with salmon and steamed broccoli…but not to offset the fries, no, because I wanted them. I ate half the fish and half the fries but all of the broccoli…because it was good.

Wine O'Clock.jpg

3. I drank an ENTIRE bottle of wine by MYSELF and basically had like three handfuls of popcorn for dinner.

I also woke up with a hangover for the first time in forever (ok, maybe it wasn’t that long ago), but I felt absolutely NO guilt whatsoever. I just woke up the next morning, popped some Aleve, drank water, and sweated my ass off at hot yoga for an hour…BAM, instant detox! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Pita Chips and AtlantaFresh Greek Cream Cheese.jpg

4. I ate straight from a PACKAGE…without PLATING!

I also stopped before I ate the whole damn bag…because I was satisfied, not because I told myself that I “should”. And then a few days later, I ate the rest of the whole damn bag…because it was good and I couldn’t help myself.

5. The other night, I emotionally ate to the point of DISCOMFORT.

6. When I woke up, I did NOT eat breakfast but instead went to the gym.

I also had the best workout of my LIFE and felt 14729 times better afterward. I listened to my body and instead of forcing myself to eat when I didn’t want to, I took some antacids to sooth my stomach and then went to the gym because I knew it would make me feel better. I did NOT have a balls-to-the wall sort of workout, but I did go up in ย weight for my squats!

Egg, Sausages, & Cheesy Potatoes

7. I ate my FIRST meal of the day at 10:38am.

I also only know that from looking at the time stamp on the picture. I also know by the following picture that…

Empty Plate

8. It took me a total of FOUR minutes to “clean” my plate.

But the point is that I ate when I was hungry and I ate until I was full and I didn’t sit there and beat myself up over it. And the fact that the healing power of yolkporn lives ON!

M&M's - Carrot Cake & Coconut.jpg

9. I admit that I freakin’ LOVE m&m’s!

I seriously can’t even tell you HOW many years I’ve been trying to convince myself that I don’t like candy! Let it be known though that for those many years, I’ve also put Reese’s cups on a bit of a pedestal…only to discover in the last few months that…I don’t actually like them anymore. But really, when it comes down to it, I’d rather just have a
SUPER THICK slice of pizza!

But my biggest confession?

10. I don’t really CARE about food anymore.

Like seriously. I just…don’t…care! I used to think about food ALL the freaking time! Planning what my next meal would be before I even finished the one I was eating. I would fantasize about food, I would be scared to death to put myself in any situation where I could possibly be without food for more than an hour. I was obsessed. And I barely had time to think about anything else.

Cereal with Peanut Flour and Persimmon

Now it might hurt the blog a bit to see a decline in recipes lately, but honestly, I don’t care about that either. I love you guys and I love sharing recipes, but I love myself MORE! And right now? Well, I don’t really see the snack plates and cereal bowls going anywhere…except down my gullet!

So that got a little wordier than I intended, BUT yeah, I’m glad we had this talk. Please don’t hold this crappy sign off against me. I typed up this post earlier, but as of now, I just got off work and have officially been awake for TWENTY FOUR hours so umm, g’night!

No thoughts…just your questions!

Wait, OTHER way around! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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78 Responses to Confessions of an Intuitive Eater

  1. Iman says:

    Wow! That’s another brilliant post and a beautifully fantastic accomplishment girl! It is defo easier said than done! And I read it and at first, it terms of the way it is written, it makes it seem like it was easy but when I actually think about it it is a HUGE achievemnt because I can imagine how hard calorie counting and all that iffy stuff must of been in terms of the society we live in! Like the media and socially, I’m sooo proud of your accomplishment! It’s nice to see someone do something JUST for themselves! :) sorry about the long comment, I’m just really inspired by your post! LOL ๐Ÿ˜€

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Don’t apologize at ALL, Iman!! It’s comments like these that TRULY brighten my day! Thank you so so much! <3

  2. Heather@YSP says:

    I love this post. It gives me hope. I have been trying to get here too, more or less intently, for about a year. I haven’t had as much success, and in reading this it made me finally realize that I still think like a dieter. I’m still tallying in my head. I’m still assigning value to my food, good and bad. It’s time I stopped.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      I think the BIGGEST thing for me was finally learning to let go of the good vs bad mentality that I had for food…I’d thought that way for so long though, that it was a hard habit to break…and even now I sometimes feel myself starting to call something “junk”, but it’s NOT! It’s just food…and sometimes that cookie, that in the past would have been off limits, is the one thing that will help brighten a day! Once that feeling of guilt was removed, for me, I no longer had/have the subsequent feeling of needing to punish myself for it!

  3. Maria says:

    Hey there! So proud of you and so happy about the strides you’ve made. When food is no longer a focus, life becomes a bigger focus and you realize just how much fun the little things can be…like finding new to you M&Ms! Thank you for sharing your journey!

    Must catch up with you soon via email! Hopefully later today :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh girl, you are SO right! Can’t wait to catch up…forgive me for being super behind in your blog posts! I swear, there just aren’t enough hours in the day!

  4. Sarah Pie says:

    Thank you (again) for being so beautifully open and honest! I’m a so happy to see where you have gotten to, and to know that such a happy healthy place is possible :) I may not have huge problems but I don’t yet have the freedom you are showing so gracefully and a post like this give me hope that someday I will.

    I love everything about the foods you posted and the attitude you talked about them with, so thank you (thank you!) for sharing your success with us.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      And thank YOU for leaving comments like this that actually make me feel like I’m making a difference! :) You’ll get there girlie…just remember that nothing worth having comes easy. You just gotta be patient and always treat yourself with respect! *hugs*

  5. As someone who used to obsess, I really appreciate this post. My former self would also go crazy knowing how I eat today!

  6. You are freakin’ awesome, lady. This is exactly how people should be viewing food…we shouldn’t actually care all that much about it! Eat what you want, enough to keep you satisfied, when you want, and actually listen to your hunger, cravings, and satiety signals. I’m so proud of you seeing where you are today!

    P.S. Can’t wait until June so I can give you an enormous hug!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      DIT-TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Ohhh, and I just remembered I have some comment responses of yours to respond to!! Going to le inbox now!

  7. Angie says:

    Ive know about your blog since about this time last year… and it has slowly become one of my FAVOURITES! (I read a ton, as I’m sure most do haha)
    YOU ROCK!
    I love your humour, and blog, and the realness of your posts!
    Thanks soooo much:):):)

  8. I feel like we should start singing Freedom at the top of our lungs. I’m thrilled for you. Talk about amazing progress!!

    I think about food all the time, in a totally giddy, I can’t wait to eat/make that type way. I’ve been a recipe testing machine this weekend, and I’ve got a few more up my sleeve for tonight. I’m excited.

    • lindsay says:

      I’ll sing it with you! you can use a public banana as a microphone. honesty Heather, this post made my day. SO STINKIN HAPPY!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Only if we can sing Faith right afterwards…cause I gotta have faith-a, faith-a, faith! Better yet, let’s just watch this video and ogle at George Michael’s booty in those tight jeans while forgetting that he bats for the other team! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      PS, Come over and make me some granola bread soup ALL THE FOOD woman!

  9. Such a great post! It’s great to see that you’ve managed to find peace with intuitive eating! At the minute I’m still pretty conscious of tracking macros because of body composition goals I have – however at some point I’d like to be at the point where I could intuitively eat in the sense where I’m not thinking about food 24/7!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Thank you, Natalie! It definitely feels good to finally have a sense of freedom around food again…amazing to see just how much more fun you can have when out with friends/family when you’re not stuck inside your head the whole time! But we all go at our own pace…you’ll get there when you’re ready! :)

  10. One of the things I love about your blog, Heather is your honesty. I hope that one day I can get to the place where you are with food. I still have a lot of issues with food, but it is getting better. x

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Thank you, Nikki! It takes time…and everyone has a different pace. The main thing is just to focus on yourself and practice patience and forgiveness. You’ll get there, friend!! *hugs*

  11. Cat says:

    Yes heather yes! So wonderful. This is very very close to where I’m at-I’m still working on not caring quite so much about macros and labels, but most days I’m free and easy with what goes in the gullet and I’ve never felt better. It’s a battle though so it’s a massive inspiration to read about your journey! You also sound epically fun in your attitude to life – balanced in all the best ways. If you ever come to the UK, let us drink wine!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Aww, thanks, Cat! I DO feel so much lighter know…amazing how much stress I’ve taken off myself in the last year! I’m happy to hear you are well on your way to that carefree freedom as well! And yes, we shall definitely clink glasses should I ever (finally get a passport and) make my way to the UK! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  12. Linda says:

    What inspired you to flip over into this new mindset? :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      I think this post: http://www.kissmybroccoliblog.com/2013/03/28/thoughts-on-being-thoughtless/ sums up my thoughts really well, but it basically came down to the sudden realization that I was living a life that couldn’t be maintained. All the countless hours spent measuring, calculating, logging, and stressing out over food was starting to take (or in some parts, had already taken) up entirely too much of my life. I guess you could say the moment I woke up and realized that I was actually WEIGHING spinach leaves, was my breakthrough!

  13. Lisa says:

    Absolutely loveeee this post. I’ve been feeling the exact same recently! I never ever thought I’d get to the point in my life where I just didn’t care about food, but I seriously just don’t. It’s a very freeing feeling after being SO obsessed with everything food in nutrition in the past. It seriously feels like a weight off my shoulder. Probably why I gave up food blogging for beauty blogging;)
    I’m so happy to see you’ve had such growth in just this past year! You should be so proud of yourself!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      As should YOU!! That’s incredible to hear, Lisa! I just read your update post and wow…I am so proud of you! I think it’s awesome that you are going to pursue other passions and congratulations on enrolling in the makeup artistry school!! I don’t know a THING about makeup so please…teach me your ways! Haha!

  14. I love everything about this, I am so proud of you! It is seriously so nice when food doesn’t take up 99% of your thoughts anymore…more room to focus on other, more exciting things!

  15. I pray to heaven I don’t find those carrot cake M&Ms.
    I love carrot cake, but haven’t had it since going GF and those would be dangerous near me.
    Loved reading your honest confessions.

  16. I hear you!!! I used to think about food ALL THE TIME. Now I get excited to tackle a new recipe or try a new restaurant, but I don’t obsess over it. It’s such a freeing feeling! I’m so happy for you Heather :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Exactly! It’s an adventurous type excitement now whereas in the past, it was more anxiety! Thanks, Liz! And…I’m not sure I’ve told you yet (I kept meaning to) but congratulations on your engagement! ๐Ÿ˜€

  17. I’m slowly and surely making my way to your “I don’t care about food anymore” point. Deep down, I’m terrified of putting myself in a situation where I may not have access to “my foods,” but with the help of some great friends, I’m outgrowing that fear. When I reach that point, I’m going to be one happy gal. So damn proud of you, Heather!!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      That’s awesome to hear, girlie! Sounds like you have a fantastic support system and I’m so happy for you for that! It definitely took me a while to get to this point…actually, it came as a shock when I realized that one day, I couldn’t tell you exactly what I’d had for breakfast the day before…something that most people don’t even think twice about, but for me, it was like “WHOA”! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ You’ll get there, my sweet friend…until then, just keep posting those selfies on IG because seeing that beautiful smile of yours always make my day! :)

  18. Oh you naughty naughty girl committing those sins! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Haha, just kidding girl! I am so beyond proud of you! <3
    Seriously, that is beyond progress and you've grown so much. Gosh I just want to hug you! Since I physically can't, here's a virtual hug

  19. Love this!!! You are in such a different place these days, and you seem so much happier and more carefree. I’m super proud of you girl! PS. One day I really want to drink wine with you. I have a feeling it would be a really fun time hahaha.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Thanks, girlie! I really AM! And yes, one day, we WILL clink our wine bottles GLASSES together! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  20. okay that last point IS me.

    For me it was all about not thinking about food so damn much. I stopped meal planning and worrying about what my next meal will be. I like to eat healthy but it took me wayyyyy too long to figure out that my body will do just that even if I don’t think about it. My body also occasionally likes french fries, and cake and pie and lots of chocolate. My body loves to sweat and loves to lay in bed all day. My body is kind of awesome :)

    To think I didn’t trust in it’s awesomeness is CRAZINESS.

    Amen sista! Glad we both figured it out :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      “My body is kind of awesome” < - LOVE this!! It's all about learning to love and trust ourselves! Oh, how I wish I could give you a huge hug right now!! :)

  21. katie says:

    So glad you are at this point, and so proud of you too! How we change over time, for the better too! I am so glad you have a better relationship with food, it really is freeing!

    Oh girl, I drink bottles of wine to my self too, haha! I am such a wine-o, it’s my favorite!

    Love you!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Thank you, Katie! It really IS! And glad to know I’m not the only lush out there! *raises glass* ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Love you BACK!

  22. I NEED those carrot cake M&M’s in my life! I will be hitting up Walmart asap for those!

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  24. Courtney says:

    Well said, Heather, and I am so happy to read this! I must say, while I enjoy reading blogs, I did it for extremely unhealthy (and self-destructive) reasons in the past. Many HLBs in general are – I must say – dangerous. I truly enjoy reading your posts, whether they be light-hearted or full of emotion. I love your authenticity. I relate to the obsession with food and the way it can be socially isolating to constantly be thinking/worrying about when you will be able to eat. It’s lovely to see someone including variety and moderation in their diet. Keep it up. :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh Courtney! Thank you so much for your heartfelt comment! It’s sad, but true…there are a lot of HLB’s out there who paint an entirely different picture and I hate to see so many “sucked in” by it. I just hope that by being completely honest about my struggles, yet showcasing the positives that I’ve experienced as well, will help to show others that there is more to life than eating by “the book”!

  25. Remember when I flooded your inbox and then we became best friends?! Love you!

  26. Eric says:

    Life is good!

  27. I’ve been gone too long. Heather, you are AWESOME! Even more awesome than M&M’s! :)

  28. HOLY FRIG I LOVED THIS POST.

    ..confession, I ate 2 HUGE homemade buns last night that were made with REFINED WHITE FLOUR, drank almost 3/4 of a bottle of wine and had saucy delicious CHICKEN wings after not eating meat for almost 3-4 weeks….
    oh and I loved every morsel of it :)

    I wish I could say I was to the point where I don’t think about what I’m going to have for my next meal but I hope to be there soon! You are an amazing inspiration thanks for sharing your story XO

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh girl, that’s AWESOME! And sounds like a freakin’ fantastic night! It’s all about living life on our own terms…not letting food dictate our decisions in life! And as far as the thinking about the next meal thing goes, honestly, I’ve only gotten to that point in the last few months. Just be patient…it’ll come. You already sound like your doing great!

  29. kim says:

    um… carrott cake M & M’s!?

    but seriously it’s been a year already? where does the time go? I have to say that your outlook on food and getting things to work is epic…. I’m trying to follow in your footsteps. I do not obsess when I overdue it or eat something I”m really not supposed to. I am not stressed if I miss going to the gym every day but I do enjoy life… that is the point right? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      EXACTLY! You just get to a point where you finally realize that it’s just life…and it all balances out in the end. Everyone overeats, skips a workout, or has popcorn for dinner from time to time. That’s nothing we should beat ourselves up over…especially when we know that for the majority of our days, we do what we can to live healthily.

      I will say one of the biggest things that helped me was removing that “not supposed to” tag from certain foods. It honestly held more weight than I realized in the whole scheme of things. Once I was able to let that go, and just see food as food, I stopped feeling the guilt I associated with those foods. Now I can have a couple of m&m’s without feeling like I a.) need to go run a mile or b.) eat the entire friggin’ package! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  30. AWESOME post! I love how honest, real & exposed you were. I lost 80 pounds 4 years ago and I can completely relate to everything you say. To this day, I can’t stop calorie counting. Eating and going out to restaurants continues to be a struggle for me. Thanks for putting it out there so I know I’m not alone.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Thank you, Megan! It’s really hard in the beginning to trust your body and learn to listen to your hunger/satiety cues, but I promise it does get easier…you just have to be patient. And it’s totally worth the struggle in the end…it’s totally worth it to finally have the freedom!

  31. Cassie says:

    This post is amazing. It’s making me realize how dumb it is to just make my life revolve around food. Do you feel hungry ever? I feel like now I get insanely hungry if I don’t eat every few hours… that’s why I plan so much, because it’s all I can think about!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      It’s kinda hard to describe, I feel hunger, but it’s like I’m better at dealing with it now…whereas I used to totally freak out if I couldn’t get food in my face within five minutes of getting hungry before! Also, I keep snacks on me when I’m out and about, but I also know that it’s not the end of the world if I have to stop somewhere to get food.

  32. Julie says:

    Carrot cake M&Ms? Whoa.

    And can I tell you I don’t care so much about food either. I went to a giant natural food expo and ate every sample I wanted. I didn’t count my calories and I was too tired after work from the fun and food to think about eating. Then I went to work this week and was so busy that food was hardly on my mind.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      That’s awesome, Julie!! Amazing how much fun we can have just living life when food isn’t at the forefront of our minds! So happy for you!

  33. Did I recently tell you how much I <3 you? If not think -THIS- much times … a lot. I could probably go on here endlessly but I figure I won't because that's what mails are for?! Anyway, you know you are my huge inspiration in all of this and as if you'd known I needed this post especially right now. You are absolutely amazing and I'm so happy for the freedom you found. Not caring about food but just living has to be awesome. I mean, I still know it is from back in my childhood but it's just been way too long.
    Oh, and I'll come back to your blog – and mail-/Twitter-stalk you – either way. Recipes or not just because it's about YOU. But you knew that already, too.

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  35. Calee says:

    Oooh I love that you mentioned NOT eating because that’s what I’ve been having issues with. I feel like intuitive eating tells the reader to EAT more than it tells us as readers to listen and NOT eat. I have such a hard time doing a workout without eating breakfast because of this. With all my GI problems, I don’t have time to sit around to digest and HOPE that my stomach doesn’t get jacked up before a workout. Instead of 30 mins, it takes me 2 hours to be OK before working out if I eat. If I want to run, all bets are off unless I want to shit myself. haha. Glad you posted this!

  36. This is the best post I have seen in….I don’t even know how long.

    I love it. It is amazing. And i’d message it to you know but I’m hoping you’re out and about being amazing. Or, asleep. Either or. It really has inspired me to take a step back and reassess what I truly want to life and how diet and all that jazz can really hold you back.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Thank you, Arman! It’s so true…how sad is it that we can get so caught up in something as simple as food and have it basically just suck the fun out of everything we do? Not cool. Not cool at all! It feels so great to finally be on the other side of things after working so hard for the last year…definitely worth the permanent change in perspective!

  37. Oh man, I’m just so damn happy for you. This is so ridiculously amazing <3. You rock my face off.

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  39. -hugs- this makes me smile. It’s so ridiculously easy to fall into the obsessive calorie counting/restricting /other ED cycle and so damn painfully hard to get out of it. It doesn’t happen over night and there are setbacks, but you make the commitment to push forward, to be a happier, healthier, not giving a flying rats ass about the ‘rules and borders’ you, is worth it.

    Honestly I don’t know when I became more at ease with eating and not letting my ED brain rule, but I sure am happier now. (Yes, I have my moments, it happens) So I am so damn happy for you. A year is a LONG time of progress and growth. And you’re doing it like the champ you are.

    lots of love to you :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh Sonia, thank you so SO much! You should see the stupid look I have on my face right now…lots of love right BACK!! xoxo

  40. The way you feel about M&Ms? That’s how I feel about butter. [And M&Ms…]

    Also, the whole “I don’t care about food anymore.” That’s EXACTLY what I’ve been trying to express. It’s ceased to become the center of my world, and SO much for the better.

    Wine is good.

  41. Christi says:

    Hi there, I am not sure how I found your blog but tonight is the first time I am reading. Luckily, I just happened upon this particular post. I probably found it because I obsessively read healthy eating blogs to get ideas about foods I should include in my diet. I have to admit that I am jealous of how far you have come. No one knows this about me but I am verbatim going through what you wrote about. I weigh every single thing that I eat and I count every single calorie. I think about food constantly, so much so that I lose sleep. I also have this obsession over sweets and when I travel I want to find the best bakeries but then I torture myself if I indulge. When I do allow myself a cheat day I can put down several pieces of cake and feel sick only to work out like crazy the next day and again beat myself up. Please tell me how you moved away from this point. I am marrying my best friend and college sweet heart in September and all I can think about is that if I stop counting calories I’ll gain back the 36 pounds I lost nearly three years ago, and then I won’t fit into my dress. My fiancรฉ is truly such a blessing, he constantly tells me how attracted he is to me and how beautiful I am to him. Its all in my own head and I know that. I so miss my “normal” life where I ate what I wanted and didn’t obsess over how many vegetables I got and I miss meat. I stopped eating animal proteins (minus eggs) due to the high calorie count and now live off eggs and tofu, along with tons of veggies and fruits. I feel better just admitting all of this, I know you aren’t a therapist but it is such a huge relief to know I’m not alone in this seemingly crazy feeling.
    On a side not I also live in the south and absolutely love the Atlanta Fresh products. Of course since they add sugar to the yogurt I don’t ever eat it but I do eat their cream cheese.
    I genuinely appreciate you reading this and giving me any advice you may have.
    Thanks so much

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh Christi! My heart aches for you so much…I remember those times, that stress, the constant worrying and how consuming it can be. Like I mentioned in this post, the transition was definitely no walk in the park. It took me a lot of time before I really learned to trust myself…much through trial and error. Everyone is different so there is no exact “route” out there, but I would urge you to check out the book Intuitive Eating if you haven’t read it already. http://www.amazon.com/Intuitive-Eating-Evelyn-Tribole/dp/1250004047 It seriously changed my life. I took my time reading it, bookmarked pages, and still, a year later, go back to it when I’m having a hard time with things.

      First and foremost, you have to learn to listen to your body. It takes time (especially if you’ve been ignoring it for a long time) to pick up on things, but the key is to be patient with AND FORGIVING of yourself. The hardest part for me was breaking down the guilt associated with good vs bad foods and the overwhelming feelings I had whenever I accidentally overindulged. Because for some reason, if I knew I was gonna “go to town” on something, it made a difference (what?)! But this is all just on the surface of things. What I discovered throughout this year and specifically when I worked with Jamie Mendell (http://jamiemendell.com/), was that a lot of my issues with food were more about issues with myself. Once I realized that and started to deal with things that were bothering me, checking them off one by one, the food part got a HELL of a lot easier! Lean on family and friends during this time. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support. I know I couldn’t have done this alone…not at all! It sounds like you have a wonderful man in your life who would do anything for you. Confide in him. And believe him when he tells you you’re beautiful. We are our own very worst critics. We see ourselves through skewed lenses so we need to have someone in our lives who can remind us of the truth. One thing Jamie gave me to do as “homework” when she was coaching me was called the “I love you” challenge. I talked about it in this post: http://www.kissmybroccoliblog.com/2013/07/25/thoughts-on-self-love/ and I think it might help if you read it.

      I really hope this helps you, love! Please, PLEASE don’t hesitate to email me if you need have any other questions or just need someone to bounce things off of who’s been there! The main thing is…you are NOT alone! <3 <3 <3

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