Confessions of a Pancake Queen: The R Rated Edition

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Post may not be suitable for all audiences.

Parental discretion is advised.

Am I the only one out there who associates the word “moist” with sex?

But not the good kind of sex.

*shudder*

So, for the sake of this post, we’re just gonna call it “sexy”. I mean really, how can you see the word sexy and think anything but good thoughts…strong, confident, sennnnnnsual?

Ok, so now, I’m picturing pancakes topped with whipped cream, red cherries, and wearing stilettos.

Pancake Porn

[source, source]

Brings a whole new meaning to the term pancake porn, doesn’t it? 😉

Alright! So let’s talk about ♫sex, baby♫ pancakes, shall we?

Now, I used to make most all of my pancakes with butter or oil, but when I started calorie counting, I gave that up right away because, well you know…that added CALORIES! While I don’t care about those reasons anymore, I actually still prefer oil-free pancakes because that just means I can go EXTRA crazy with the toppings!

Pancake ToppingsI’ll take provocative attire over nudity any day! 😉

So, if you’re not greasin’ em up, then WHAT can you do to make sure they’re just as sexy on the INSIDE as they are on the outside?

Well, it’s actually pretty easy…

FruitPeel off the layers.

Whether it be bananas, apples, blueberries, or even AVOCADO(?!), it only takes a little bit to add some sexiness to your cakes. The natural juices release as the cakes cook up giving you a voluptuous and succulent stack!

ApplesauceGet a little saw-saaaaay!

Same thing goes for fruit purees! You can use pre-made (or better yet HOE-made) applesauce or even just blended up fruit!

Whichever you choose, whole fruit or puree, just watch the amount of sugar (I actually recommend using UNsweetened applesauce) as a higher sugar content will tend to leave your cakes with varying degrees of UNsexy tan lines…

Pancake Tan Lines

Nothing a little stage makeup coconut butter and syrup can’t fix! 

Snookie Pancakes

Oh Snookie, how did you end up in my pancakes?? 

Veggies

Try a new position.

Some of my sexiest pancake experiences have actually come from trying something a little…um, different. You don’t have to worry about the sugar content in veggies, and most of the time, the flavor will only come through if you let it…believe it or not, pumpkin pancakes will only taste like pumpkin if you add the right spices!

Cottage Cheese & Yogurt

Embrace the white stuff.

It really IS amazing what one or two spoonfuls of creamy goodness can do…and hey, we all know that it’s FULL of protein! 😉

Eggs

Ready those eggs!

But I’m not talking about making baby pancakes here…oh no. We’re not THAT far along in our relationship yet! Remember when I told you how whisking egg whites can lead to SUPERHUMAN fluffy pancakes? Well, these babies hold another little secret (even better than Victoria)…

While it’s hard to do with single serving pancakes, one WHOLE egg thrown into your batter will not only boost the flavor and make them more cake-like, but it makes them so sexy, your grandmother would blush!

Best tip for trying this out, take any one of my single serving pancake recipes calling for one egg white, double the recipe and use one WHOLE egg instead of two egg whites…then you can either share your breakfast with I don’t know, perhaps your bedmate? 😉 OR you can freeze them for later!

Oh yeah, I said it…you can FREEZE pancakes!

Steps for freezing leftover pancakes:
1. Arrange in a single layer on a plate or cookie sheet and allow to cool completely.
2. Once cool, layer cakes with sheets of wax paper/parchment/or aluminum foil.
3. Stuff those bad boys in a zip top baggy and pop ’em in the freezer.

They’ll keep for MONTHS this way. And when you’re ready to dish some of them up, just pop ’em straight in the toaster!

Nothing like something hot and sexy “popping up” in the morning! 😉

What’s the sexiest pancake topping combo you can think of?

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