I had planned on posting something entirely different, but after yesterday’s revelation, it only seemed right to get some “thoughts” out today…and as is the case with many of these posts, it’s better if I just take the stream of consciousness approach
Ok, here goes…
To be honest, when I first started my journey with Intuitive Eating, I felt completely lost. Without a schedule to tell me WHEN to eat, how could I know if it was “time” to be hungry? Without a count of calories per meal, how would I know I was truly satisfied? Without a list of “good” versus “bad”, how would I know I was eating healthy?
I had no idea how to listen to my body…after years and years of thinking I (points thumbs at chest) knew better, it’s no wonder my intuitive eater decided to desert me. Heck, I didn’t even know what I really liked to eat in the beginning! It took a LOT of trial and error, picking up and dusting myself off, and self-reflecting over this past year, but I can honestly say it was ALL worth it! The freedom I felt when I first let go of calorie counting, is nothing compared to how I feel now.
I feel like a completely different person!
A person who doesn’t feel the need to challenge her cravings…even if it’s for pasta…which I usually don’t think twice about. A person who can enjoy a couple bites of chocolate without having to eat the entire bar. A person who doesn’t have to “make up for” those bites by jogging around the block at midnight. But most importantly,
A person whose life doesn’t revolve around FOOD!
Many people will tell you a struggling relationship with food isn’t actually about the food and, thanks to my work with Jamie, I believe that wholeheartedly. While I think it was important to put more focus on food in the beginning (so that I could relearn my body’s natural signals), I feel like I started to get stuck in a state of hyper-vigilance. It wasn’t until a few months ago, that I felt a shift occur where I finally took my eyes off the road ahead…stopped comparing my progress to others, and started looking INWARD! I swear after that, time slowed down. It’s funny, the moment I stopped focussing so much on the journey, the destination was in SIGHT!
Now, I am by NO means saying that I’m completely “healed” and will never again suffer from food guilt or the occasional binge, but I’m finally in a place where I can see those as natural occurrences in this crazy, stressful, media-shoving-things-down-your-throat-about-how-you-should-eat world we live in. Now, I can feel my hunger without having to consult a schedule; I can feel my satiety without having to grab a calculator, and I know that I’m eating “healthy” because I feel good about the choices that I make.
I want to thank you all SO much for being there for me this past year. I surely would’ve given up long ago without your support. But I also want to thank myself…for learning how to love, forgive, and be patient with the one person who means the most…
And for also having the remarkable forethought to take a bajillion pictures of myself last month, in the name of Spoons, so that I would have a couple to break up the monotony of this post! 😉
No questions today, just tell me some thoughts!