The Vegan Pancake Vow

So I got this GREAT idea for a pancake recipe!

I was treadmilling at the gym Friday morning, AFTER a 5:30am Body Pump class…obviously holding true to it’s name ’cause I was feeling the PUMP…and the thought just POPPED into my mind! It was good…oh yeah, it was VERY good! I verbally (ok, literally) patted myself on the back, stopped my hamster wheel, and practically (ok, you got me…literally) skipped my way to the car!

On the way home, the pancake vision was getting brighter. I saw sprinkles…PINK sprinkles. I saw a clever Valentines Day title blaaaaaay-zing at the top of my post in all it’s PicMonkey glory. I saw people bowing at my feet and throwing me roses! 😆

I prepared myself. It’s been, what two months since I last made pancakes? I wanted, no I NEEDED it to be good. I had a snack. Then I threw on my headphones, pulled out my spatula (slash microphone) and set to work.

I mixed, I measured, I stirred, I flipped and…

Pancakes2

The beauty of pancake procreation was witnessed!

Pancakes3

I readied the props…proud of myself for the impulse buy I made at TJ Maxx a few days prior. I sorted out pink and white dots from a bottle of birthday sprinkles…because I will never learn to have enough forethought to plan ahead for food holidays. I even had the brilliant idea to craft some banana art!

Then I proceeded to take one hundred and thirty SEVEN pictures. Finally, an hour after this entire spoon to batter process began, it was time to taste my masterpiece. It was time to sink my teeth into some soft and fluffy…

Very Vanilla VEGAN Pancakes!

Very Vanilla Vegan Pancake FAIL 2

Very Vanilla Vegan Pancake FAIL 1Very Vanilla Vegan Pancake FAIL 3Very Vanilla Vegan Pancake FAIL 5

But something…something was just…OFF!

Of course I ate them anyway (because at this point, I was starving), but I didn’t loose hope…because tomorrow was another day! So yesterday morning, I tweaked a few things and thought, what the hell…let’s have a little more fun! There was no way in HELL I was sorting out more sprinkles, but I now think I deserve a degree in banana-crafts. This time I took one hundred and forty TWO pictures…five more, ya know, just in case! 😉

Very Vanilla Vegan Pancake FAIL 6 Very Vanilla Vegan Pancake FAIL 9 Very Vanilla Vegan Pancake FAIL 17Very Vanilla Vegan Pancake FAIL 8

But something…something was still…OFF!

Of course I ate them anyway (because at this point, I was starving), but I didn’t lose hope…because I still had a full day ahead of me and with a snowstorm brewing outside, I didn’t have any reason to freeze my ass off anywhere else to go. Plus…

I was determined to make some damn VEGAN pancakes! 

So a few hours later, I set to it. And after FOUR batches, I had FLAT, still FLAT, too SALTY, and wait, is that GREEN?! I was so disappointed. I got angry. I left the room. I came back. I left the room again. Then I cried. 😥

Last night, I gave it ONE LAST try, convinced that my lucky number seven would serve me well. So there I was, at 11pm, flipping ‘cakes. I tried another direction from the other batches. The batter turned out perfect. After flipping, I stepped back and marveled at the golden brown color. Once they were FINALLY done, I plated one, took a bite, and…

FAIL!

I’m done. That’s it. From this day, February 10, 2014, and on, I solemnly swear to never attempt another vegan pancake recipe! I’m sorry, I do like to try to accommodate all my readers out there but it just doesn’t seem like it’s worth the effort (slash waste of ingredients) when I myself am not vegan…and frankly, I’m done crying over
spilled milk shitty pancakes!

So I have no VEGAN pancakes for you to share with your honey this Valentines Day (sorry, Davida, I tried), but hey, THESE should keep you busy for a while!

Vegan Pancake Roundup from www.kissmybroccoliblog.com

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Pancakes
Cha-Cha-Cha Chia Pancakes
Thin Mint Protein Pancakes
Whole Wheat Vegan Pancakes with Strawberry Syrup
Samoa Cookie Protein Pancakes
Triple Berry Coconut Pancakes
Blueberry Beet Pancakes
Oatmeal Raisin Flax Pancakes
Biscoff Cookie Pancakes

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go fix a plate of EGGS and CHEESE! 😛

What are YOU having for breakfast today?

Describe your last kitchen fail…please, save my dignity!

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This entry was posted in Breakfast, Confessions, Pancake Sunday, Recipe Roundup, Vegan, Vegetarian and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

44 Responses to The Vegan Pancake Vow

  1. In spite of all your fails at least it was still a win on the pretty food photos front!

    5.30am pump?!?? Wow that is motivation! My earliest wake up time is 5.55am and then I am usually grumpy as!

  2. At least the photos are pretty?? Great perseverance though, you’ll get it one day!

  3. But they LOOK incredible…and you made little banana hearts… <3 <3

  4. I love you for trying!!!! Trust me, when I pyschotically decided to bake FIVE recipes for this week it didn’t occur to me that the odds were to in my favor to have every one of them be a success. I ate half a pie for breakfast cause it failed (still tasted delicious) and I just need to wallow my sorrows in some healthy baking. Worse things have happened and you’re the still pancake queen in my mind 😉 xo

  5. Even if you weren’t satisfied with the recipe, I’m still salivating at the pictures 😉 As for breakfast today, Eric’s mom is treating us to brunch. So now the question…pancakes or classic diner breakfast? decisions…

  6. 7 batches? 😯 Fail or not, you still deserve a freaking standing ovation for that kind of dedication… and those banana hearts? Too flippin’ cute! Breakfast for me this morning was oatmeal… but now I’m thinking that pancakes for dinner sound like an excellent choice. Oh wait… dinner is at the rents’. Pancakes for lunch, then! 😀

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Dedicated or crazy? I think the line is very VERY thin! But I also think I will only be eating bananas via banana hearts for the rest of the month! Lol

  7. The positive I see from all of this, well two positives, is that you got some pretty AMAZING photos and you had a cooking learning experience. I still give you mad respect to test out so many times with pancakes. I usually just go “phooey” and go off and try other food recipes. I love your determination, girl.

    You have some kick ass pancake recipes, so it’s all good. 😉

  8. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and eat a plate of de-veganized ‘cakes.

  9. Oh Girl, I ADMIRE your endurance!!! I mostly skip after the second try. And – we are kitchen fail twins!! I tried a VEGAN PANCAKE recipe last Sunday and they were a MAJOR fail. I mean, they weren’t even pancakes, just some kind of a disgusting looking mousse!!
    As you, I refuse to make another try on vegan pancakes – I should actually eliminate eggs, but nope. Eat AAAAALLLL the eggs IN pancakes!!!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Awww! Let me guess, coconut flour was involved? I swear flops with coconut flour are the WORST…there’s no saving them! :(

  10. Cat says:

    Awww I’m so sorry you and Vegan pancakes didn’t work out! There are plenty more fish pancakes in the sea…

    Nearly died when I saw those bananas though. TOO CUTE.

  11. Purelytwins says:

    pancakes are the hardest thing for us to make vegan, well really good vegan pancakes. we have some that are pretty good, but eggs just make pancake making so much better :)

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      So true! It’s really not all that hard to make vegan pancakes, but to make GOOD vegan pancakes (aka, FLUFFY), I swear I’d have better luck at winning the lotto! Haha!

  12. Haha I love this! There’s something to be said for saying “F*** it” to something that’s not working for you. Those heart-shaped banana slices are freaking adorable. I wish my ADD let me do stuff like that!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh I suffer from the same affliction, but it’s a wonder what some good tunes on Pandora can do for one’s concentration…that is, mid-white girl dance moves, anyway! 😉

  13. Lyric says:

    You know WHAT? Good for you for trying! & Another thing; I cannot believe how much determination you have. I make one batch of pancakes and even if they’re burnt to a crisp I simply say ehhh and post the recipe anyways.

    Your photos turned out beautiful and the added touch of banana hearts put a smile on my face!

  14. Maria says:

    Regardless, they are the prettiest little pancakes ever :)

    And don’t feel bad, I sometimes even screw up my pancakes….that come from a box (Kodiak)!

  15. Screw the pancakes (not literally because we’d have to stop being friends) and would ya look at that banana art. I’m freaking impressed. You just set my #publicbanana heart a flutter. What do you say? Will you be my Valentine? I’ll happily make you a plate of cheese with a side of eggs. 😉

  16. The pinkness of these makes me wanna shit rainbows!!! No really, I’m not super girly, but pink is my favorite color 😉

    I know how you feel about the ingredient wasting too I HATE that, and still eat my pancakes flops, hehe.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Bahahaha! You know, pink isn’t my “favorite” but I sure do have a strange fascination with it! Must have been all those years I spent suppressing my girly ways when I was young and convinced that climbing trees and digging in the dirt was better than baby dolls! Ha!

      And yeah, I’m STILL eating my way through all those flapFLOPS! 😯

  17. Kat says:

    I honestly don’t even care how they taste because WOWZERS I want to make love to them just because of their looks. That’s right, I’m a shady, shallow ginger who only loves pancakes for their looks.
    Alright I’m going to be frank here, it might just be the heart shaped naners. I’ve got a thing for hearts…

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      You must be butter, baby, because you’re on a ROLL! You are seriously CRACKING me up tonight with the comments! Lol! One of the MANY reasons why I love you, my little ginger twin! 😉

  18. Banana hearts?! Screw the pancakes. I applaud you for your bananas. We can have non-vegan pancakes this weekend. With hearts.

  19. Haha I can totally feel your frustration girl! This post describes my experiences perfectly, except replace vegan pancakes with coconut flour. I swear it hates me!

    On the plus side, those banana hearts are flipping adorable!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      I know, right? I may or may not have patted myself on the back for that little work of art! 😀 And oh yes, coconut flour is indeed a bipolar being…I’ll go a while singing it’s praises and then all of a sudden, anything it touches turns to MUSH! Haha!

  20. My last kitchen fail was a muffin exploooooossioooon! They tasted damn good but totally had a mind of their own, exploding out of the tin and then deflating like a busted balloon afterwards 😛

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh NO!!! Hope that wasn’t a big mess to clean out of your oven…I hate it when THAT happens! But hey, at least they were still tasty! :)

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  22. Eric says:

    Anything “vegan” that I’ve ever tried has been terrible. Thank god for beef, pork and poultry!

    More eggs, more butter and more whipped cream/chocolate please! :)

  23. Sarah Pie says:

    Those banana hearts are precious! I feel your pain for the recipe not turning out… especially after 7 tries! That’s some serious dedication to your pancakes. At least you got gorgeous pictures and a great story?

  24. It’s refreshing to know I’m not the only one who has recipe failure sometimes! The pictures are beautiful even if they didn’t taste great!

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Oh yeah, definitely NOT alone…I’ve had more than I care to remember! I just hate that they looked so pretty but tasted so “blah”! I guess if I ever give up cooking/recipe creation, I can always give food art a try! Haha!

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  26. You are HUMAN after all- and what a heart of gold you have to cater for those who embrace the other V day…all day. everyday.

    Seeing as it’s Sunday morning here and I have breakfast by my side- It is pitiful- I need to grocery shop- olive oil roasted beets, the final bits of cheddar and the final handful of my fruit free trail mix is barely cutting it.

    • kissmybroccoli says:

      Haha! Awww, I remember showing that IG post to Laura this weekend and shaking my head…silly Arman! I hope you’ve made it to the store by now!

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